How to Know if He/She Really Likes You/is she genuine
I made a donation which hopefully you received- thank you for this service.
I have got to know a women at work over a few months. Sometimes she has been friendly, other times she has been distracted.
Before New Year (two months ago)she discovered I was going to be in the same city as me over the Christmas New Year break and asked me if I wanted to do something over New Year and perhaps go mountain biking. There was an urgency in her voice that it sounded like she was at a 'loose end'. I was taken a bit aback by her as we hadn't even gone on a date and here she was asking me to do something at New Year with her. I got her number but wasn't able to see her as I was committed to my own family at that time.
I saw her last weekend with a man hand-in-hand. I don't know how serious it was but clearly they were at the very least dating.
I am trying to work out whether it is likely she was interested and available and I was just too slow in asking her out, or whether or not she may have been attached even when she asked me out for NY (although it would seem weird for a woman seriously attached to ask another man out for something like NY). I have always found her a little hot and cold. I have heard she is divorced but she never talks about her personal life so I have found it hard to determine whether or not she is actually available or just being friendly.
All this might seem like needless analysis but I am just trying to learn from things and modify my dating behaviour and approach.
Grateful for any advice you may have. Thanks Nicolette.
Thank you so much for writing in, and for choosing me to answer your question.
For your donation, I thank you so much - I did receive an email letting me know you had made one, but that for some reason, it was unconfirmed. I'm not sure if it's something that I have to do on my part or not.
Now, down to your question. From what you were kind enough to share with me in your letter, it seems to me that this girl has a platonic (friendly) interest in you rather than anything else. Although you saw her walking down the street holding hands with a guy, I truly don't believe that she's looking for a real and secure relationship right now with anyone. She strikes me as someone who is a bit closed off emotionally when it comes to men and relationships. Now I'm not saying that she doesn't want to have anything to do with men at all, but she does seem to only want to interact with men to a certain level. In other words, what it boils down to is this, David: if you're looking for more of a casual dating connection with her, knowing that she'll also be out there seeing other people, and you're ok with that, I think you've got a good chance. However, if you're looking for something more serious and stable, then this may not be the right avenue for you to take. It all comes down to, not how she feels, or what she wants, but what YOU feel, and what YOU want. Once you have a clear picture of what you want and where you want to go, the rest will be easy, David. :)
I hope this answered your question, but if not, you're most welcome to write me back. :)