Expert: Brijette - 5/21/2006

Question
There's a girl at my school that I like and I'm almost positive she likes me back. Toward the end of this school year we started emailing each other. However, I find it extremely hard to work up to talk to her face-to-face. I haven't even been able to ask her for her phone number in an email because I know that if she gives it to me, I'll have to call her. How can I get over this fear?

If it helps, I'm going to be a senior next year and she will be a sophomore

Answer
Hi Matthew,

Well in order to overcome your fear of talking to girls, you just need to remind yourself that you are a good person, and that there are a number of reasons why any girl would be lucky to talk to you.  

I think that you're right about this girl, it's a good thing to trust your instincts, because they are generally right.  If you're having some problems talking to her face to face, then slowly build it up.  Keep talking to her through email, getting to know her.  Maybe she has an instant messenger, where you can talk to her in real time.  Then you know her a little better - ask her for her mobile number, and send her a few texts.  I know that you said that if you ask her for her phone number, you'll have to call her - but you don't have to.  

You just need to tell yourself, that if you want this girl, you're going to need to swallow your fear, and try to take it to the next step.  Don't think of her as girlfriend material, think of her as a friend for the time being.  It should help you to be less nervous around her.  Remember, there's nothing wrong with being nervous around the opposite sex, it's very very natural.  Just take a breath, and ask her for her number.  I think that, once you do it, and start talking to her on the phone - talking to her in person will seem less and less hard.

I hope this helps - let me know if there's anything else I can answer.  Good luck - I hope it all works out! :)

Brijette