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How to Know if You`re Really in Love/Is it worth giving her a 2nd chance?


Hello! So me and my ex have been broken up for about a month now. We started off great until a few months in when she met a mutual friend of mine off facebook. Long story short he started flirting with her and she would tell me up front about what he is doing. I confront the guy and he denies it. Later on it he went at her again and i guess she fell for his games. Ever since then we started having problems within our relationship. I tell her to drop him and she say she would but to find out they are flirting again later on. Supposed nothing happen between the two other then flirting. So thing gotten really bad throughout the months to where we would go from arguing once a week to almost every other day. I got tired of it and i gave her an ultimatum and she finally dropped and and realized how much it hurts me. A few months later we got into an argument over something and i told her to leave and she instantly ran back to him out of the blue msg him asking if she can stay with him. This point i had enough so i broke it off with her because im tired of stressing and fighting. Now that she is back living in Tx she finally realized her wrong doing and finally admitted she was wrong. She realized she had a good guy and so now she is "changing" for the better in hopes to get back with me. As for me when she ran back to that guy the last time.. she have killed all of the emotional love that i had left for her. I don't love her any more but i do care for her as a friend. She messed up and now she is begging me for a 2nd chance and promising me that she will treat me right and no hurt me. I do still have a tiny bit of feeling for her but imnot in love with her like before so is it worth starting over giving her a 2nd chance?

Love Again ~ Creating Relationships Without Blame
Love Again ~ Creating  
David, unless she is willing to do some counseling on her own, and some counseling with you, I think it is dangerous to get back together with her.  Something was going on in her that she started to be interested in someone else.  We all have confusing feelings come up, in a relationship, but our job as a human being is to learn how to handle those feelings.  The school for that learning is counseling.  If we ignore problems, they will just get worse.

Good luck to you!
Jan Harrell, PhD
Author, Personal Strength ~ Spiritual Joy:  Bridging Heaven and Earth
         Love Again ~ Creating Relationships Without Blame

How to Know if You`re Really in Love

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Jan Harrell, PhD


I believe I can address any questions and concerns a person might have.


I have been a clinical psychologist for 32 years. I co-authored a book on relationships, Love Again ~ Creating Relationships Without Blame, with my husband of 40 years, who is also a psychologist. I have taught at UCLA and at Southern Oregon University. I was the psychology columnist for the magazine, Make You Happen! for 1 1/2 years.

I have a doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Southern California.

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