How to Know if You`re Really in Love/Night & Day


I recently re-connected with someone I dated a few years ago...we didn't part on bad terms it was mutual. For the past month we've been getting re-aquainted with each other...and I'm starting to notice we don't have much in common. We both have a strong attraction to each other and we have good communication....the problem is she's sprited and outgoing..I'm more laid back and easy going....she likes to go out and have fun....I'm more a homebody...and while I do like to get out and have a good time....her intensity and frequency surpasses mine as far as that....we're only 6 yrs apart agae wise but she makes me feel old at times....we don't watche the same tv shows or movies and it's hit or miss with music....our kids get along with each other as well as with us...and like I said we have excellant communication...we talked about this and she told me she understands and that it's a balance of both....I don't know if I can keep up with her..we have deep feelings for each other..and..I don't wanna lose her again....and from what she tells me she doesn't wanna lose me either...we never have any "us" time per say because of our respective kids literally tugging on us and a constant stream of her family and friends coming over her house...I try to make time for us but it doesn't look like she is...please help...I want to love her but I don't know how

Hello Monty,

Apologies afront for delay in reverting back to you. I appreciate your gesture of dropping a word and sharing your heart felt feelings and it takes a toll on a person while penning down. But really shows, your strong desire to make things work. Would surely step in your shoes and feel the pain you must be going through and share my experience about the same.

To be honest, age gap plays a part when maturity level is not at par with age and also one of the partners in relationship is not flexible to other's views. It happens most of the times that we get attracted or desire someone in life being impressed either with their personality, appearance , intelligence or comfort zone they gives us in their own company. Things look rosy and heavenly when we finally get to have that person in arms or in life, but that spark/charm doesn't last long, for the simple reason, we got the person as we craved for it, we never really sat down and knew the person or had a heart to heart talk to see compatibility of views in long run, which plays spoilsport later on. We just get carried away in a flow of excitement and ignore the main part and things when they fall apart, we sit back and take note of it. I can very well understand your desire of getting back your love and making things happen, but before that you need to take note of few things, which would help you in making a wise decision:

1) What is that make you love her? What is that reason you wanna sustain your relationship with her? Are you willing to ignore the things, which are not common between you both? Are you trying to hook back, as you haven't come across anyone who could value your children and give you the comfort zone?
2)Are your priorities set in life and don't you think you getting emotionally weak in knees and its time you sat back and refocused?
3) It's time you both sat down and did a heart to heart talk and values each others wishes and desires and see how far can you both go in fulfilling the same.
4) I used to love watching movies, where as my gf didn't. She loves partying and I liked silent zones. She started being part of me and cherishing watching movies with me and I realized, when my partner can bring the best out of me and be part of my happiness, why cant I be with her if she wanna socialize. Same you can also do to make her feel good and she would also bring the best out of you.
5) You are desperate to love her, but you need to do the basics correct. She seems to be more patient than you and quite assured about sticking with you, but you being insecure. True you do lack few qualities which she prefers, but she hasn't given any signs of cribbing and trying to be best with you and your kids, at same time having some own personal space, which is alright.

Just go through the above points and sit back and ponder over. You just being insecure and in that process,keeping things in the back of the mind, you would be complicating things and which would lead to messy life. Just stay calmed composed, give her support and value her wishes and talk about she respecting yours, things would be smoother.

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How to Know if You`re Really in Love

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I am quite experienced and matured enough to handle questions related to following topics: 1) Love- Friendship 2) Issues in all kinds of relationships. 3) making a relationship work. 4) Effective tips to sustain a relationship. 5) Sex related queries. Well as of now haven't come across any such questions, which would offend me or I lack expertise in, but am a straight forward person and doesn't hold my wordings back. I don't mind being honest in case I lack knowledge about particular aspect and quite flexible to accept genuine views of others or seek other professionals for my case studies, to help the clients out.


Well I have been doing online counseling through my own blog for past two years. I have got good response throughout, which has motivated me in going ahead and helping people in their relationship issues and bring a smile back on people's face. I don't say that am a professional in this area, but well sufficient enough to contribute in the aspect of Modern Day Relationships.

I am a qualified software engineer with Bachelor's degree of Engineering i.e B.Tech degree in area of Electronics and Telecommunications. I am pursuing PG diploma in area of counseling and relationship education from Delhi University, India.

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