AboutE. S. Expertise I can answer anything that there is to know about being Latino the in the United States. I can also answer questions regarding immigration and emigration to/from the United States.
Experience I am first generation Mexican-American, born and raised in Southern California.
Education/Credentials Bachelors degree in Latin-American Studies and Spanish.
Question QUESTION: Hello, I've been reading many postings about Mexican men being machismo. Are ALL Mexican men this way? For 2 months, I've been dating (casually) a Mexican man here in the U.S. I'm older than he is, I have a great career and make good money. The past week and a half he's been distant - I feel like I'm getting the cold shoulder. I haven't seen him at all and he hasn't made any attempt to see me. All this coming off a great weekend we spent together. The last conversation we had was a text message (it's the easiest - he only knows a little English and I only know a little Spanish). I said "I'd love to see you again, let me know when you have time. There is no rush, we'll see each other soon! Enjoy your week." He wrote "perfecto" and that was a week and a day ago. Is he by any chance giving me the machismo routine, cold shoulder etc.? I didn't figure him to be the type... he seems - well, nice. But this week has me wondering. I know there could be many reasons and speculation is pointless. However, if machismo COULD be part of it, it might help me understand things better. Many thanks, Lisa.
ANSWER: Yes, all men express machismo and to me it sound that machismo may be playing a role. If not than he is just being an ass. Machismo has many faces and can be expressed in many ways and it can be used in good and bad ways. A good form of machismo is a man providing for the family, a bad form of machismo is a man being abusive to his family. I think that he is using it in a bad way. Rather than confronting a problem or situation (which is machismo) he is being a recluse, giving a cold shoulder, controlling of a situation by making you wonder ( which is also being machismo). Since you say that your relationship is casual, maybe he's seeing other people. One thing I want you to know is that machismo is not an excuse for his actions. If this is truly bothering you I think you should bring it up to him and have him tell you what is going on. Out of respect for a woman (which is machismo) he should be honest.
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QUESTION: Thank you very much for your answer. One quick follow up: Is being machismo a conscious effort or do the men not really even realize they're doing it? I'd put him in his place but considering I did say "there is no rush" I don't think it's appropriate. (This time).
Answer Machismo is inherited through social customs and also through the male figures whom he looks up to. social machismo is, for example, negative views of woman having positions of power over men. A machismo view inherited from a male figure is expecting women to be submissive. Machismo is a mix of habit and conscious effort. For example my mother was a homemaker and my father always worked. My inherited machismo is that I want my wife to be submissive as my mother. I made the mistake of marrying a independent American girl, so I realized that what was a habit was not going to work and i had to change my machista views and be accepting of a woman that won't cater to me when I want. That being said, all machismo has has conscious effort.
