Latter-day Saints/Ex Mormon
Hi, I was Baptised about 5 years ago but I just couldn't attend every Sunday and participate in the jobs and responsibilities and I was very anxious and afraid to attend for about 3-4 hours o priesthood meetings etc.
I do still believe but I suffer from anxiety and depression even though I am on medication.
That is why I cannot be an active member, which is unfortunate. Also even though I had asked the Bishop not to send anybody to visit me at home because my wife does not want anybody at our house, I did get a visit one night and I was very angry and upset.
I am just sharing my thoughts with you. I don't have any questions but if possible I would appreciate any advice.
You put "Ex Mormon" as your Subject, even though you still believe? Are you defining yourself that way?
It's pretty hard for you to deal with this if you feel you cannot attend church and you cannot have anyone visit you.
Some alternatives - if you are comfortable with them:
Just attend church when you feel you are able. And only for as long as you are able. If it's only for the Sacrament meeting, or part of it, that's still good. It's still progress. And it might strengthen you enough to attend again the following week. Or the following month. Ease into it at a pace you are comfortable with. You might want to ask a Home Teacher to accompany you to church if that would help.
Call the Bishop and tell him this is what you are trying to do and why. And ask him to please remind others that you cannot have visitors at home. It is a congregation of many caring people, and sometimes not everyone knows your circumstances. Are they welcome to phone you? Or you could call them. Your Home Teachers could have a telephone visit. Or would you be comfortable meeting them at a coffee shop (ha ha), or for a walk in the park, or at their home, or at the church?
You can certainly be active from home if you choose to. www.lds.org has so many resources - articles to read, videos to watch, online service work to do, etc. You can do indexing at www.familysearch.org or www.billiongraves.com . You can work on your family history research. If you have some special skills and feel up to it, you could offer your service to others through the Bishop.
Have confidence that you are doing what you can, when you are able to do it.