AboutMichael Kelley Expertise For a different viewpoint on Mormonism for your questions, try me. I am a staunch believer in the Book of Mormon and belong to another church (the Church of Christ)that is set up identically to the Biblical church. If there are things about traditional Mormonism that trouble you or you have questions about, just ask and you might find the answers from the Book of Mormon to be quite surprising. I have been studying the scriptures diligently for 16 years under the school of hard knocks... I may not have all of the answers but will sure go find them if I don`t. I`m strongest on Biblical and Book of Mormon doctrines, and am also somewhat familiar with Mormon history and archaeology.
Question QUESTION: Can Mormon teenagers date or marry non-Mormons? I am not a Mormon, but I have many friends who are members of the LDS church. If I were to date one of my guy friends who is Mormon, would I be shunned or would his parents disapprove?
ANSWER: Hi Molly,
I will be happy to answer your questions. Please note I am ex-LDS and belong to the original Church of Christ that believes in the Book of Mormon.
It is very possible that you and your "guy friend" would be shunned in the LDS church unless you were to join them and be baptized and participate in their Temple works. This is primarily due to their belief in Celestial Marriage wherein faithful members are "Sealed for life and eternity" in their temples and according to their beliefs shall inherit the highest degree of glory and be exalted unto Godlike status. This belief is the acme of their religion, their most important tenet.
Those in mixed faith marriages cannot be sealed in the LDS church and are considered 2nd class citizens. The men cannot hold higher priesthood offices and sometimes the family is shunned. I have even heard of cases were some are encouraged to divorce their non-member spouses so they can marry a member and then become sealed. There is a lot of LDS cultural pressure to marry the faithful and become sealed and blend into their culture. Those who do not "must have something wrong with them" and "are not following the Prophet's teachings" and are thus shunned. This shunning varies depending on location.
What is ironic is this teaching of Celestial Marriage is utterly absent in the Book of Mormon, and in many ways is even taught against. My personal opinion is the doctrine of Celestial Marriage was manufactured by men in order to seduce their women into accepting polygamy (which the Book of Mormon bitterly condemns as an abomination to God). In the Bible Jesus plainly states that the worthy in the next life will neither be married nor given in marriage... in effect we will be all as brothers and sisters in the afterlife. The doctrine of Celestial Marriage is an utterly false doctrine supported by neither the Bible nor the Book of Mormon.
If you were ever to date and marry a LDS man, you will have to either accept being a 2nd class citizen in their eyes, or caving in and accepting doctrines and practices that are not Christian. I don't know how much of a Christian background you have but I can state emphatically that many LDS beliefs and practices are not once ever taught or practiced by Jesus Christ. If you start dating a LDS man please make sure you have these issues fully resolved first before getting serious with him. Mixed faith marriages are difficult enough, but with LDS it is especially so because of the importance they place on Celestial Marriage.
I hope this helps answer your questions. Feel free to ask other questions if you wish.
God Bless,
Mike
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QUESTION: Hi Mike,
Thank you for your answers. As far as my religious background goes, my dad was raised in a devout Catholic family, but now both of my parents would be considered "Southern Baptists".
One of my really good friends who is Mormon has told me for almost two that he wanted to pursue a relationship. But, I personally feel that the reason you date is to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. I have nothing wrong with Mormons, but I can't accept the fact that his family and peers might look down on me because I'm not of their faith.
Do all members of the LDS church believe in or place so much importance on Celestial Marriage?
Would a man be shunned if he were to leave the Mormon church? (Not saying that I would ever try to change anyones beliefs)
Do Mormon men have to go on their mission before making a commitment with a girl? I don't know if I would be able to handle being apart from someone that I cared about for two years, anyway.
I really appreciate your answers!
Molly.
Answer Hi Molly,
My mother's side is all LDS, my dad's side is all Baptist. The Baptists are very against the LDS religion and some have put forth books, media campaigns etc. to warn people of the LDS religion. Ironically if you took the best of the LDS and Baptist religion and put them together, you would have a good description of the church I joined, the Church of Christ. On the other hand the LDS are strongly against the Catholic religion, primarily due to the history of the Catholic religion, naming it the Great and Abominable church though they seem to have toned that down nowadays.
Yes, all LDS members place high regard for Celestial Marriage. This is why their public image is so pro-family in that it is part of their Celestial Marriage doctrine.
Yes, if a man left the LDS church they definately would be shunned. I myself left the LDS church (primarily BECAUSE I believe in the Book of Mormon) and they consider me an Apostate and possessed with the devil. Once in awhile I have missionaries visit my home but once they find out I am ex-LDS they stay far away from me as if I will rub off on them and somehow give them a devil.
Typically young men in the LDS first go on a mission before getting married. Some, due to life circumstances, are not able to go on missions and get married, and then when they are older or are retired then go on a mission. They have different types of missionary fields that make it possible for older people to serve in different capacities. Going on a mission for the LDS is an important rite of passage for them, kind of like a Jewish Bar Mitzvah. Those who do not go can also be shunned or considered inferior.
In the Church of Christ it is totally different. All of our ministry are called of God through divine revelation (where in the LDS they are called by age and works). Typically the more experienced men who are called to do so go into the missionary field... not inexperienced boys. I have met many LDS missionaries who were woefully unprepared and did not know even their own beliefs or history.
I hope this helps answer your questions, feel free to ask more questions if you like.
