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You are here: Experts > Religion/Spirituality > Christianity - Restorationism > Latter-day Saints > past girlfriend
Expert: David Gross - 9/28/2006
Question
I am 61 years old and not a lds member but a past girlfriend of mine who I dated for 5 years from the age of 13 to 18 has just contacted me by email she has been a member from the age of 21.While dating we had a purly plutonic relationship. She has been married twice, the first time to a non morman and the second time to a morman she was divorced from both after unfaithfulnes by both her partners. She is also 61 and in generaly bad health being wheelchair bound and semi blind. She tells me she is still eternaly married to the second husband, can this be true if he had sex with another woman while married to her does this not count as fornication and end the eternal marriage after divorce? My next question is this, I am not a morman and I am married to a non morman and intend to stay this way but I feel a great fondness to my ex girlfriend and wish to communicate with her and help her through her progressive illness. She has asked my wife if we can communicate and my wife agrees to it. My question is what is the morman point of view of this situation is she to be encouraged to keep in contact, if there is an after life what would be our situation? My feelings for her are great but will not come between my wife and I.
Edwin
Answer
Civil divorce does not automatically cancel a temple sealing (eternal marriage). There is no way for anyone other than her or her ex-husband to know the answer to your first question because it is not made public. It would partially depend on whether she or her ex requested that the temple sealing be cancelled.
If you and she are communicating without it causing any dis-ruption in your marriage then it sounds like an act of compassion with someone who is dying. If there is any chance of communication leading to un-faithfulness in your marriage then it should be avoided. In other words, don't spend time alone with your friend, no sexual talk and don't let your imagination get the better of you. Fantasies are often better than reality because they are just that, fantasy.
There is no doubt in my opinion that there is life after our physical body dies. Our church has many teachings that are different from other religions. For example, if you do not have the opportunity to be baptized or sealed in the temple in this life then you will after you die. Only those who are baptized and sealed together in a temple can be married for eternity and all blessings are predicated on personal worthiness. As for you and your friend, there is no way for me to know. I do believe that God knows all and will make decisions concerning our eternal judgement that will be fair and just.
Here is a link about temple marriage. http://www.mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1299-1,00.html
Here is a link about ordinances for those who have died. http://www.mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1300-1,00.html
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