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Lebanon/Marriage to Lebanese Man


Hi David,
Although, I love my husband very much and have tried to make our relationship work, I left him 4 months ago because he had anger issues and said he can't and wouldn't change. It was like he wanted me to leave. When we married he wasn't a citizen and only  became a permanent resident last year. It seems he used me to come and live in Australia permanently.During our marriage he was abusive on a daily basis by yelling about the problems of life, money and family in Lebanon.He is Muslim (Alawi# and I am Church of England. I saw him last week for the first time in 4 months and thought we could talk about what went wrong and I needed to know where we stand but he seemed like he was only interested in his own problems and did not talk about reconciling. English isn't his first language #Arabic)so we have/had communication problems and I also find it hard to understand his culture although I have tried to learn the language, make the food and live the way he does. I'm a romantic where he isn't. However, he came into the house where I live after dropping me off and we had sex. I felt empty afterwards because he left soon after it and never asked me to go back to him. I feel sad and wonder if he is seeing another woman as in his culture the women do not have sex before marriage don't they? I feel in my heart he was deceiving me but I'm not sure. I have always been hanging onto the idea of marriage for keeps with him hoping he will change. I'm 49 and as a result of leaving him I haven't had a proper home, a place I can call my own. I finish nursing in April to become a Enrolled Nurse. I'm in limbo waiting for my husband to be someone he's not.He also change his name from Mohammed to Michael and the surname too.I am finding it more difficult to understand him.Can you explain if these things are normal in Lebanese culture and if he clearly has no interest in being with me?

Kim, I am sorry you are going through this in your marriage. What is taking place is not cultural specific but rather related to one's character. All major religions teach that marriage is a sacred vow between a man and woman and no religion espouses abuse of any sort. It appears to be as though he might be in the midst of a mid-life crisis and in need of therapy. If he is not willing to seek help then you may be better off with a more permanent seperation.  


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David Rababy


Any questions dealing with Lebanon's politics, culture and lifestyle.


I was born and raised in Beirut, Lebanon. •27+ years of experience in intelligence analysis •Coordinated the management, analysis, processing, and dissemination of strategic, operational and tactical intelligence •Conducted research & analysis of counterterrorism, and foreign military forces, operations, capabilities and trends in support of threat production •Analyzed information to assess developments, trends, and threat implications within geographical and functional areas •Compiled, collated, analyzed, produced and evaluated all-source intelligence in the production of finished intelligence products •Subject Matter Expert on Middle East affairs

Disabled American Veterans (DAV) National Veteran-Owned Business Association Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) The American Legion The Marine Corps League The Association of Service Disabled Veterans (ASDV) Fredericksburg Small Business Association (FSBA)

Rababy, D.A., Marine Corps Intelligence, Officer Training of the Future, U.S. Army Military Intelligence magazine, May 1995 Rababy, D.A., Intelligence Support During a Humanitarian Mission, Marine Corps Gazette, February 1995 Rababy, D.A., Intelligence Support in Operations Other Than War, Small Wars Journal, October, 2005 Rababy, D.A., Cultural Intelligence Training for Military Operations, Ongoing

American Military University, Master of Arts, Political Science University of Michigan-Flint, Bachelor of Arts, History Armed Forces Staff College (JPME II) Intelligence Collection Managers Course USMC Command & Staff College US Army Anti-terrorism Instructor Course Instructor and Curriculum Developers Course

Awards and Honors
Bronze Star Medal Joint Meritorious Service Medal Meritorious Service Medal (Fourth Award) Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal (Third Award) Combat Action Ribbon (Second Award) Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal Southwest Asia Service Medal Kuwait Liberation Medal Presidential Unit Citation Global War on Terrorism Medal Marine Corps Intelligence Instructor of the Year 1996

Past/Present Clients
Klein Associates Robotic Research Jane's Information Group Marine Corps University Foundation

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