AboutBlue Sleighty Expertise I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help.
Experience I have been a lesbian all of my life. I have had an active and adventurous sex life. I am published and widely known writer of lesbian erotica.
Education/Credentials I have an AA from Texas Academy of Art. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica.
Expert: Blue Sleighty Date: 4/26/2008 Subject: RE: I am confused
Question Dearest Blue,
I am new to your site, but I have heard that you offer great advice. My problem is I am questioning if I am fully a heterosexual. I am physically attracted to men and have only dated men in the past, however I prefer reading erotic stories about lesbians. I am so confused as to why I prefer reading about two women if I am physically attracted to men.
Answer Tiffany,
I answered this question for another person, and I am going to tell you the same thing that I told her. I hope this helps, and please do not hesitate to write again if you need to.
My answer:
What "turns us on" sexually, is not always a defining factor of our sexual orientation.
There are many women that really LOVE to watch gay men together, but, obviously could never participate in that even if they wanted to. There are people that get turned on by many different things throughout their lives. Some have elaborate fantasies that involve things that will never happen in reality. Like being kidnapped by aliens and having sex in strange new ways and in strange new worlds.
So- don't let it worry you that it turns you on to see women having sex together. Do not even worry if you fantasize about having sex with another woman.
Unless you become compelled to actually be with a woman- then it does not necessarily define your sexual orientation.
If you DO engage in sex with another woman- that does not make you gay. That just means you had an unusual sexual experience.
If you have sex with another woman, and decide that you have found what was missing in your life, and can't imagine living your life with a man as your life's mate- then you are probably a lesbian.
There are lesbians that deny their feelings in their younger years. Most of us want to be "normal" and "do the right thing (like, what our parents, friends and family expect of us)". We live for years trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. I did not admit to myself that I was gay until I was 30. However, I had feelings like you are describing all of my life. I had crushes on girls who were my friends, and I had occasional sexual experiences and even long relationships (that did not include setting up a household- just dating a lot) up until I was 30. And, then- I just realized that I was a lesbian.
And, I have never been happier.
It takes time to figure things out. Just enjoy sex. Don't worry that taboo things turn you on, or even that you want to try new things- as long as you do not hurt anyone.
