AboutBlue Sleighty Expertise BLUE SLEIGHTY HAS BEEN AN EXPERT FOR OVER 2 YEARS!
I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help you.
Experience I have been a lesbian all of my life, and realized that there was something different going on with me by the time I was 6 years old. I have faced the same issues and have made many of the same mistakes that other lesbians have. Part of my journey as a woman and a lesbian has included educating myself, and exploring my sexuality and my body. While marching down my path seeking a better understanding of myself and others, I have gathered information along the way from reading publications of the best sex experts of our time, like Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle (who is a lesbian, now!), Xaviera Hollander (who is doing some great work on YouTube these days!), and many others.
I have been fortunate to benefit from the wisdom, experience and research of these brilliant and brave women.
I have had an active and adventurous sex life and I am a healthy and happy woman. I am published and a widely known writer of lesbian erotica.
Publications CafeBoudoir.com, MySecretObsession.com, AuthorsDen.com, AuthorZone.com, many others. Author of 5 books which can be found at Amazon.com, and Lulu.com , as well as many other online book sellers.
Education/Credentials Along with the privledge of having an oddly interesting and far from boring life which has afforded me a rather unique perspective, I have an AA from the Texas Academy of Art. I am a midwife and worked with a team of midwives at a birthing center where I performed well woman exams, managed prenatal care, and delivered babies as well as managing home births for 3 years, which gives me plenty of hands on experience with the female body. I have the equivalent of a MA in life experiences and personal independent study as measured by UH life credit testing, and I constantly read college psychology textbooks, Psychology/Psychiatry News in the AMAJ, Psychology Today, and other educational journals. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica. I'm 40.
Awards and Honors Every time someone thanks me for helping them is an award and an honor for me. Also, I was just thanked by the author, 'the mysterious Jade', in the acknowledgements of her new, page turning lesbian erotic thriller, "Secretly Bound", for being her mentor and for inspiration, advice and friendship.
I feel a bit intimidated about being intimate with my girlfriend. I'm not very experienced and have been reading everything I can get my hands on about being a good lover, including especially your books and stories. I worry that I will disappoint her, which keeps me from being sexual right now. She is starting to think I'm not attracted to her, which is so not the truth. I think she's absolutely wonderful and beautiful, and tell her so, which seems to confuse her.
She has been out all her life and has many girlfriends by comparison. I've never had a girlfriend, though I've known since puberty hit that I liked girls. I've been with one woman in college, but we tended to dismiss that as experimenting. I have dated girls before this but did not "go all the way" until I went away to college. This girl and I were very "vanilla" in our sexuality, so toys, vibrators, and all the other stuff that I read about is very foreign to me. I'm just a "hands on" gal if you know what I mean. Anyway, if you can help me out. I'd appreciate it, and I know my girlfriend would, too!
Answer Dear Karen,
I do not know how old you and your g/f are, or how long you have been together- but things take time. Intimacy comes with trust and trust comes with time and experience. And as for being a good lover, practice makes perfect. You are studying, which is great.
Do the same things to her that you do to yourself (within reason). If it makes you feel good, it will make her feel good, too. Set aside some time alone with yourself with no interruptions. Take the time to make it special with candles, good music, and wine. Touch yourself and think of making love to her. Pay attention to what feels best when you touch your self and imagine what you would do to her to make her feel the same way. Use lotion and smooth it over your skin. Pay attention to the way it feels and where and how it feels best. Use a good lubricant during sex. Get familiar with how to use it and where to put it.
As you get more comfortable and confident- you might try talking during sex. Talking during sex can open many doors and lead to many things. You can talk about what feels good, what you would like to do to her, talk about fantasies, role play . . . the possibilities are endless.
I have a sex toy shop that has instructional videos. You could watch them together:
