AboutBlue Sleighty Expertise BLUE SLEIGHTY HAS BEEN AN EXPERT FOR OVER 2 YEARS!
I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help you.
Experience I have been a lesbian all of my life, and realized that there was something different going on with me by the time I was 6 years old. I have faced the same issues and have made many of the same mistakes that other lesbians have. Part of my journey as a woman and a lesbian has included educating myself, and exploring my sexuality and my body. While marching down my path seeking a better understanding of myself and others, I have gathered information along the way from reading publications of the best sex experts of our time, like Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle (who is a lesbian, now!), Xaviera Hollander (who is doing some great work on YouTube these days!), and many others.
I have been fortunate to benefit from the wisdom, experience and research of these brilliant and brave women.
I have had an active and adventurous sex life and I am a healthy and happy woman. I am published and a widely known writer of lesbian erotica.
Publications CafeBoudoir.com, MySecretObsession.com, AuthorsDen.com, AuthorZone.com, many others. Author of 5 books which can be found at Amazon.com, and Lulu.com , as well as many other online book sellers.
Education/Credentials Along with the privledge of having an oddly interesting and far from boring life which has afforded me a rather unique perspective, I have an AA from the Texas Academy of Art. I am a midwife and worked with a team of midwives at a birthing center where I performed well woman exams, managed prenatal care, and delivered babies as well as managing home births for 3 years, which gives me plenty of hands on experience with the female body. I have the equivalent of a MA in life experiences and personal independent study as measured by UH life credit testing, and I constantly read college psychology textbooks, Psychology/Psychiatry News in the AMAJ, Psychology Today, and other educational journals. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica. I'm 40.
Awards and Honors Every time someone thanks me for helping them is an award and an honor for me. Also, I was just thanked by the author, 'the mysterious Jade', in the acknowledgements of her new, page turning lesbian erotic thriller, "Secretly Bound", for being her mentor and for inspiration, advice and friendship.
Question I'm 18, and my girlfriend is 20. We have been together for a year and a half and the fire is still there, however, recently my girlfriend has been having some issues. When i digitally penetrate her she begins to feel pain. at first we thought maybe my finger nails were too sharp so i allowed them to grow out a bit, trimmed them and smoothed them out. The problem occurred again, no matter how soft, and slow i took it. We then began to use the feeldoe she had purchased a while back, it had been successful however now it is beginning to hurt her as well. Other than clitoral stimulation, because that doesn't do the job, is there anything else I can try with her to pleasure her successfully?
Answer Dear Patience,
Clitoral stimulation in combination with anal stimulation or penetration and nipple stimulation may do the trick. Also, some people find talking during sex very exciting. (if you want to try it but can't think of what to talk about, you might try talking about what you would like to do to her the next time you have sex, or talk about a particularly good sexual experience that you have already shared with her)
I am concerned about WHY your girlfriend is experiencing pain with vaginal penetration. That should not be happening.
Are you using lubrication? Does she bleed when you penetrate her (which could mean a friable cervix)? Has she ever enjoyed penetration? Are you engaging in plenty of foreplay? What kind of pain does she feel and where exactly? Has her hymen ever been broken? Are you administering PLENTY of clitoral stimulation before attempting to penetrate her vaginally?
It would be a good idea to be checked by a physician if she is experiencing pain, bleeding or having anything else unusual going on with her. All women should get a pelvic examination and PAP smear each year. Sounds like right now might be a good time for that!
Please write back if you have further questions, or if you want to discuss this further. Also you might find my articles on my website, MySecretObsession.com helpful.
