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Lesbian Erotica/How to keep the "fireworks" in a long term relationship


Dear Blue,
First off I have to thank you. Since my first question to you my relationship with my girlfriend has Become indescribable. Also your "Guide to Oral Sex" helped me tremendously. I could never have brought her to such mind blowing climaxes without it. Thank you very, very much.

That being said, I bring to you my next concern. I could just be over thinking this...but a friend put it in my head and I haven't been able to shake it since. My relationship is fantastic. We're in love, we love spending time together, we talk about any and everything, and the love making is earth shattering. All good right.. I thought so too. But then my friend just had to go and rain on my parade of happiness. She has a lot more experience with relationships then me. So I seek her advice and wisdom. She's like an  older sister to me and I trust her with everything.

So we are talking the other day about relationships and such, and I began to tell her how happy I am in mine. When she says " enjoy it now, because it won't last. The sparks will disappear, the sex will become repetitive, bland, and boring, and you will eventually just grow apart." She then went on to describe her various experiences where this had happened saying that " lesbian relationships are just not made to be long term" she bisexual btw.

So me, this being my first relationship in which I can say I'm in love and never happier. Also this being my longest relationship,( its been over a year ^.^) Was far more than a little put off by her negativity... How do I keep the sparks flying . I mean I know not everyday can be a happy giant bowl of rainbows and sunshine. But it doesn't all have to go down hill if we're both invested in the relationship right?

Also as far as our sex life, how do we keep the sparks in that. We pretty simple. Fingers, mouths, and bodies are all we need in the bedroom to pleasure one another. She hates toys, like any type of penetration past a few fingers is a huge turn off for her. So how do we keep it fresh and exciting without going outside of our comfort zone. She's not huge on role play, or rough sex either. She likes slow, passionate, sensual love making or hot, sizzling, lost in the moment, lust filled......entanglements, if you will. Which works for me as well. I just don't want it to become boring. We're open to adventure sexuality, as long as we're both in agreement.

Dear Jessica,

Great to hear from you again! I am so glad to hear that you are so happy!

Do NOT let your friend make you worry about the future of your relationship. She is simply projecting her own experiences onto you and it is very likely not applicable to you.

Your relationship will experience ups and downs over the years, but as it sounds to me you won't be experiencing any downs for a long time. You will also do things you never ever thought you would do if you are as adventurous as it sounds to me.

Don't listen to that bi woman. Her problems are not yours. Tell her to shut the hell up.

You have an awesome and exciting relationship. Enjoy it!!! If it starts to get less exciting- write me. I'll be right here.

I really appreciate that I could help you.


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Blue Sleighty


BLUE SLEIGHTY HAS BEEN AN EXPERT FOR OVER 5 YEARS! I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help you.


I have been a lesbian all of my life, and realized that there was something different going on with me by the time I was 6 years old. I have faced the same issues and have made many of the same mistakes that other lesbians have. Part of my journey as a woman and a lesbian has included educating myself, and exploring my sexuality and my body. I have had a wealth of experiences and while marching down my path seeking a better understanding of myself and others, I have gathered information along the way from studying publications of the best sex experts of our time, like Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle (who is a lesbian, now!), Xaviera Hollander (who is doing some great work on YouTube these days!), and many others. I have been fortunate to benefit from the wisdom, experience and research of these brilliant and brave women as well as my own. I have had an active and adventurous sex life and I am a healthy and happy woman. I am published and a widely known writer of lesbian erotica.

Publications,,,, many others. Author of 25 short stories, and 3 novellas which can be found at, and , as well as many other on line book sellers. You can also find me on Facebook and Twitter.

Along with the privledge of having an oddly interesting and far from boring life which has afforded me a rather unique perspective, I have an AA from the Texas Academy of Art. I am a midwife and worked with a team of midwives at a birthing center where I performed well woman exams, managed prenatal care, and delivered babies as well as managing home births for 3 years, which gives me plenty of hands on experience with the female body. I have the equivalent of a MA in life experiences and personal independent study as measured by UH life credit testing, and I constantly read college psychology textbooks, Psychology/Psychiatry News in the AMAJ, Psychology Today, and other educational journals. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica. I am a lesbian mother of a now adult, well-adjusted, degreed, happily married for 5 years, heterosexual daughter. I'm 40.

Awards and Honors
Every time someone thanks me for helping them is an award and an honor for me. Also, I was just thanked by the author, 'the mysterious Jade', in the acknowledgements of her new, page turning lesbian erotic thriller, "Secretly Bound", for being her mentor and for inspiration, advice and friendship. I have business associations with some of the best artists and writers of our time.

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