Lesbian Erotica/It's over
Well it didn't take her long to make a decision. She cares sex more than she cares about me. After spending the night with him, she comes home early this morning and sits me down saying me need to talk.
She then went on to explain to me that being with him made her realize that " women don't have the right equipment to keep her satisfied for the rest of her life. And she could "never fully commit to a women" because she would always want to be with a man as well. So unless I was willing to "share" her, ( me being the only women in her life, but allowing her to sleep with guys when she wanted) she thinks its time for us to go our seperate ways. She says she could never truly be happy never being able to feel the pleasure of a man.
I sat and listened to her go on and one about how it's not an affair if she's not with any other women, that she still cares about me but think its time to start a new chapter in her life. She told me of all the males that found me attractive and would love a threesome with the two of us. And the more she talked, the more I realized that as much as I love her she really has no idea who I am.
So when she finally finished her speech... I asked her how would feel if I asked her if I could have another women on the side; of course she was offended. I explained to her man or women...an affair is still an affair, cheating is still cheating. She didn't want to hear that of course.
I told her I loved her, wished her happiness in life, thanked her for the memories and walked away. It was the hardest thing I've ever done......
ANSWER: Oh, honey! I am so so sorry! I am going to write you a much longer response, dear, but I wanted you to know I am here, RIGHT NOW. [[hugs]] It's going to be OK.
I know you are very hurt and there are not really any words I can say to console you right now. But I want you to know that I am here for you and I will tell you everything I know to do to help you through this.
It may feel very tempting right now to bargain with her or even to beg her. I am not sure how you are feeling. But keep your dignity and do not give her the satisfaction of seeing you vulnerable, Nico.
I would like for you to let me know if I can help you move on. I do not want to bombard you right now, because you are very likely kind of still in shock.
It's going to be OK, sweetness. Just grit your teeth and don't talk to her anymore. Make this the first day towards getting over her and getting through this.
Know I am right here 24/7. I'll be checking to see if you need anything.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Dear Blue,
Thank you. I appreciate just how caring you are.
I don't know how to begin describing how I feel.... I feel empty if that makes any sense to you. Like I've lost myself, and am now just existing not really living. I feel alone even though my two closest friends haven't stopped checking up on me since I showed up at their door step last night. I feel lost, and very very hurt.
I don't know if I can get through this Blue, I know it's been less than 24 hours but...I don't know, I really didn't expect it to hurt like this. I tried going for a walk right after we broke up just to clear my head, and realized everywhere I look there is some memory of the two of us. Every store front, cafe, museum, art gallery, restaurant, park,clothing store....we literally went everywhere and did everything together. From the age of sixteen up until now, we have never spent more than a week or so apart. So needless to say we formed endless memories, and our shared love for adventure took us all over the state we call home. Even my friends apartment, that I am staying at now torments me with memories of her. On my left hand, my ring finger has the shadow of what was once a promise ring. Every article of clothing I took with me smells like her favorite fabric softener, my hair smells like the shampoo we shared, my phone has our initials engraved into the back of it. It's like all of this is jumping out at me now, all of my once precious memories have now come to tear me apart.
I'm falling apart at the seems already, and what terrifies me is that I really don't believe the reality of the whole situation has struck me yet....... Just like that, She ripped my heart out, and doesn't even care. I wish I had seen it coming, at least maybe than I could have braced myself.
You will always have your memories and sometime in the future- you might even recall them fondly. But right now- do not indulge yourself in them.
You CAN get through this. And you are right. It hasn't fully sunk in yet. When it does you will see how you have been betrayed and you will be much less willing to let this selfish and uncaring woman have this affect on you and your life.
Go buy yourself a new brand of shampoo, and wash your clothes with a new detergent and get a different fabric softener. You do not need to visit all of that. Do not check her FaceBook or any of her social networking profiles. Do not correspond with her.
It would not surprise me at all if this guy that she has decided to let destroy your relationship dumps her. She was likely seen as a challenge to him because he wanted to prove that his magic penis could change her and she was far too easily won. There is also the likely possibility that he wanted a threesome out of the deal, and he didn't get that. Now he has her. If she has any remorse at all about what she has done to you he is very unlikely to be sympathetic. It will be interesting to see how all of that turns out.
Stay away from her and do not revisit through memories. No matter how this turns out you should strive to come out of this stronger and smarter and do not indulge in drama.
Thank god you have good friends and a good support system. When you feel weak- talk to your friends. Or get in touch with me. Go see a movie, play a game - just do not let it get to you. If you have to - go see a counselor, or go to your doctor and get some meds.
A good self tanner will help with that little spot where that ring was, too, Nico. And try to figure out what sets off the most triggers at your friend's apartment. Maybe they will change things until you feel better.
You absolutely CAN get through this and do it in a healthy way. If you start feeling dangerously down you make sure you talk to someone about that. Opting for a permanent solution to a temporary problem is something that you absolutely must not consider.
I am here for you always!