Lesbian Erotica/Masturbation


Hi Blue

I have decided to try and make peace with my situation and the fact that it might never change.  I do not want to give up the relationship. However, I need to find a way to satisfy my needs. The only honest way I think, is to masturbate regularly and whenever I feel the need. Since privacy is so limited, I am not sure how it will work out but I will have to MAKE it happen for myself, even if it means being risky - She told me once before she would not like it if she was to wake up and catch me masturbating in the middle of the night. Obviously this will not take place in the bedroom in our bed. It still makes me a bit nervous.

My concern, however - I am worried that this way I will condition my body to feeling pleasure only through my own abilities and eventually find it hard to be with my partner again, which could result in us having a problem.

Is this true? Does that happen? What do you think of the idea and how do I go about it?

I am not sure what else to do to try and solve my problem and be at peace.

Thank you once again,


Good to hear from you!

You do not need to worry about masturbation changing your love making with your girlfriend. As long as you are still open psychologically and do not develop unrecognized or denied resentment- you can masturbate as frequently as you want.

Here are my suggestions as far as creating privacy:

Assuming that you both work, arrange to take a day off on occasion. Maybe once a month. Either do not tell her that you plan to do so, or feign illness (painful period, or something). Then you can have several hours to yourself to indulge yourself all that you want. (I used to do it a lot!)

Another possibility is to get a waterproof vibrator. The Rabbit and many others come in models that can be used in the shower or bathtub. Assuming that your girlfriend does not watch you while you take your time in the bathroom- that can give you some privacy. Remember what I said about NO LATEX!

A hand held show head is another good device for masturbation. Just aim the stream at the clitoris and adjust as needed. You can also use the faucet as it streams into the bathtub by laying on your back and positioning yourself under the flow. It usually helps to place your legs straight up and rest them against the wall or something. You will figure out the best way for you should you decide to do that.

When you use streaming water to masturbate- DO NOT let the water flow forcefully into your vagina. It can actually kill you (causes embolism). So NEVER insert a hose, or shower head, or try to allow a flow from the rapidly flowing faucet to enter your vagina.

As you are able to develop favorite sexual fantasies and get used to masturbating you will very likely find it quite satisfying. On the occasions when you have enough privacy to touch yourself manually, you may find that you climax more powerfully and faster.

I will be happy to continue our correspondence. Write any time that you wish! And if I didn't give you the information that you wanted- let me know in a follow up.

Do not feel bad about this, J. She has refused to communicate, AND she has told you that she wants no evidence that you masturbate.

A woman must do what a woman must do and as long as you are not cheating on her- you are not doing anything wrong.

Love and hugs-

Lesbian Erotica

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Blue Sleighty


BLUE SLEIGHTY HAS BEEN AN EXPERT FOR OVER 5 YEARS! I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help you.


I have been a lesbian all of my life, and realized that there was something different going on with me by the time I was 6 years old. I have faced the same issues and have made many of the same mistakes that other lesbians have. Part of my journey as a woman and a lesbian has included educating myself, and exploring my sexuality and my body. I have had a wealth of experiences and while marching down my path seeking a better understanding of myself and others, I have gathered information along the way from studying publications of the best sex experts of our time, like Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle (who is a lesbian, now!), Xaviera Hollander (who is doing some great work on YouTube these days!), and many others. I have been fortunate to benefit from the wisdom, experience and research of these brilliant and brave women as well as my own. I have had an active and adventurous sex life and I am a healthy and happy woman. I am published and a widely known writer of lesbian erotica.

MySecretObsession.com, AuthorsDen.com, AuthorZone.com, CafeBoudoir.com, many others. Author of 25 short stories, and 3 novellas which can be found at Amazon.com, and Lulu.com , as well as many other on line book sellers. You can also find me on Facebook and Twitter.

Along with the privledge of having an oddly interesting and far from boring life which has afforded me a rather unique perspective, I have an AA from the Texas Academy of Art. I am a midwife and worked with a team of midwives at a birthing center where I performed well woman exams, managed prenatal care, and delivered babies as well as managing home births for 3 years, which gives me plenty of hands on experience with the female body. I have the equivalent of a MA in life experiences and personal independent study as measured by UH life credit testing, and I constantly read college psychology textbooks, Psychology/Psychiatry News in the AMAJ, Psychology Today, and other educational journals. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica. I am a lesbian mother of a now adult, well-adjusted, degreed, happily married for 5 years, heterosexual daughter. I'm 40.

Awards and Honors
Every time someone thanks me for helping them is an award and an honor for me. Also, I was just thanked by the author, 'the mysterious Jade', in the acknowledgements of her new, page turning lesbian erotic thriller, "Secretly Bound", for being her mentor and for inspiration, advice and friendship. I have business associations with some of the best artists and writers of our time.

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