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QUESTION: Blue,

I received your email, and you totally beat me to it. You have been on my mind lately and I've been meaning to contact you. I have been well.  

I had a visitor yesterday. My ex, suddenly showed up at my door apologizing and begging for me to take her back. I accepted her apology of course, and actually had a pretty meaningful conversation with her. But didn't take her back. I almost feel bad for her. She told me she is hurting, that she misses me. It turned out you were quite right, the guy she put before me didn't really want her. He simply wanted what he thought she could offer and when she didn't deliver, he left.

I had another visitor. Monday, my mother showed up on my doorstep. I was shocked to say the least. We haven't spoken since I was 17. She disappeared and I never cared enough to find her. It was bitter- sweet to see her again. I'm happy I went through what I did because if not I'm sure I would not have handled her appearance as gracefully as I did. I had forgiven her already, so it wasn't hard to tell her to her face that I forgive her. I got the answers to a lot of questions that have hunted me for a very long time. I can't say we will ever have a strong mother-daughter relationship, but....yeah. We'll see. I can't lie, it still hurts a little. I try not to hold resentment against her.

Over all Blue, I'm doing quite well. I'm happy, I'm doing more of what I love. I've become a mentor for a teenage girl my friend introduced me to. Her story is somewhat similar to mine, and I'm happy I can help her. She's so young, yet so... Brave, strong, determined. She has a fight in her that could change the world.

I know I say it every time I email you, but I must say it again. Thank you Blue, from the bottom of my heart. I truly appreciate all you have done. Thank you.

Hugs.

Nico

ANSWER: I'm really proud of you, Nico. You are a strong and intelligent woman.

I hope you give your mom a break. Moms do the best they can at the time.

I'm here for you.

Love, ALWAYS,

Blue

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Blue,

You, are a very wise women. I hope one day I come to acquire such wisdom. I say this because when I first read your response "Moms do the best they can at the time". It didn't sit well was me. My initial reaction was " how could that....leaving me with him when she knew what he was doing to me, how can that be thought to be her best". I read the sentence at least a dozen times thinking, trying to figure out how one could think my mother of all people did her best.

Then it occurred to me. My mother and I had a fantastic, close knit, loving relationship right up to the time I came out to her. The way she grew up, what she was taught by her parents. Homosexuality was seen as a "sin". As a great disrespect to god. She was told that homosexuality was impure, "a spirit that dwelled in unclean temples".  All ludicrous yes, but it was drilled into her from a young age. Though she didn't push said beliefts on me and my sisters, it was something that was still in her.

Shunning me. Pushing away the "unclean spirit" was all she knew to do. She was never taught that love is love. That love knows no gender. She had never experienced lesbianism personality, never knew anyone who was a lesbian. So her initial reaction was to send me away. To rebuke me.

It took me this long to understand that, but I'm happy I finally do. And, I mean she's here now. She didn't have to come find me. It wasn't an easy task. I have finally let go. Truly forgiven her. I have no resentment, no hatred towards her. I see her everyday now and look forward to it. We are rebuilding, getting to know each other. And I'm starting to find, that I really like the person she is.

Hugs.

Nico

Answer
Nico,

I can see why you would not like my statement about MOMS doing the best that they can at the time. You were left to the wolves by your mother and that is really hard to forgive. She had her spoon fed beliefs to deal with. It is no excuse. But I assure you that the very fact that she came to find you is proof that she is still trying to do the best that she can. And now that you and she have learned more- hopefully  you can find a good relationship and hopefully her mission will not be to save you from lesbianism. Sorry. Just a thought.

I am happy to hear from you, but really sorry that you took exception to my remarks. I care about you very much. I really wish the best for you and will always be here for you.

My parents were married for 50 years, Nico. My mother was not blind. But- as I came to resolve that she was not my rescue I did not hate her for her blinders. Maybe I was wrong for that.

Blue

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Blue Sleighty

Expertise

BLUE SLEIGHTY HAS BEEN AN EXPERT FOR OVER 5 YEARS! I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help you.

Experience

I have been a lesbian all of my life, and realized that there was something different going on with me by the time I was 6 years old. I have faced the same issues and have made many of the same mistakes that other lesbians have. Part of my journey as a woman and a lesbian has included educating myself, and exploring my sexuality and my body. I have had a wealth of experiences and while marching down my path seeking a better understanding of myself and others, I have gathered information along the way from studying publications of the best sex experts of our time, like Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle (who is a lesbian, now!), Xaviera Hollander (who is doing some great work on YouTube these days!), and many others. I have been fortunate to benefit from the wisdom, experience and research of these brilliant and brave women as well as my own. I have had an active and adventurous sex life and I am a healthy and happy woman. I am published and a widely known writer of lesbian erotica.

Publications
MySecretObsession.com, AuthorsDen.com, AuthorZone.com, CafeBoudoir.com, many others. Author of 25 short stories, and 3 novellas which can be found at Amazon.com, and Lulu.com , as well as many other on line book sellers. You can also find me on Facebook and Twitter.

Education/Credentials
Along with the privledge of having an oddly interesting and far from boring life which has afforded me a rather unique perspective, I have an AA from the Texas Academy of Art. I am a midwife and worked with a team of midwives at a birthing center where I performed well woman exams, managed prenatal care, and delivered babies as well as managing home births for 3 years, which gives me plenty of hands on experience with the female body. I have the equivalent of a MA in life experiences and personal independent study as measured by UH life credit testing, and I constantly read college psychology textbooks, Psychology/Psychiatry News in the AMAJ, Psychology Today, and other educational journals. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica. I am a lesbian mother of a now adult, well-adjusted, degreed, happily married for 5 years, heterosexual daughter. I'm 40.

Awards and Honors
Every time someone thanks me for helping them is an award and an honor for me. Also, I was just thanked by the author, 'the mysterious Jade', in the acknowledgements of her new, page turning lesbian erotic thriller, "Secretly Bound", for being her mentor and for inspiration, advice and friendship. I have business associations with some of the best artists and writers of our time.

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