Lesbian Erotica/Wrong email

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QUESTION: Hi. I sent you a question the subject being "alone". I'm pretty sure I gave you the wrong email address because I did not receive the question receipt as expected. If so, would it be possible for you to answer the question from this email? If not, I'm happy to ask the question again.

ANSWER:    Bree,

In your situation you are doing the right thing in keeping your sexual exploration private.

You are still in school and you really need to be assured that you have a place to live until you graduate.

It is hard to know where you will end up sexually. Just keep it quiet with family and friends until you can afford to handle the consequences of your sexuality should it turn out to be offensive to them, because you have to have your family's help right now if possible.

Your friends should not be trusted with this information because they can, and often will turn on you and cause other people to turn against you, or not realize the seriousness of your situation and tell others who will spread the word. You do not need this right now, especially since you are still unsure of how you really identify. You will find someone that you can really trust. Just give it time.

When December rolls around- take it slowly. Think about things between now and then. There is no reason to make a big announcement. Just start making plans, make contact with other people who are going through what you are on the internet if you can and carefully consider if it is the right time before you tell anyone.

Your family really does not need to know about any of this. Sometimes we just have to limit conversation to things we agree on with some people.

I'm really sorry about the girl you were dating not understanding that you are not ready to come out to your family. Maybe there will be a chance for you two down the road.

It is sad that sexual orientation is such a big issue. But- maybe someday we can be free to be true to ourselves without consequence.

Until then you can write me any time. I'll be here!

(((HUGS)))
Blue

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Blue. Yeah, I definitely know to tell no one. It wouldn't be in my best interest at all at this point. It's just hard. Like I know just how much my family is against it and it annoys me to no end. Like, I hate going to church where the pastor's entire sermon is based around how "wrong" homosexuality is.  And then I constantly have to hear it from my mom. " I saw a girl yesterday with a fro-hawk dressed manly, waking around with another female who was dressed quite feminine; may god spare them for they know not what they do." I've had to learn to bite my tongue and keep my opinions to myself but I really hate it.  

They can't kick me out, I'm not worried about that at all. We live in a foreign country thousands of miles from America and any of our relatives. I just know I could never tell them because they would come up with something like I'm " possessed with the spirit of lesbianism" and call an exorcist to deliver me from the evil that has taken my soul. So yeah, I will never tell any of them of how I feel.

I don't know if I can ever tell anyone Blue. Not just my family, but anyone at all that knows me personally. It's to risky. How do I know when I can trust someone with the information? My best friend is a lesbian. Her mom completely changed once she came out to them and their mother-daughter relationship is still strained because of it.

I know I'm probably trying to "have my cake, and eat it too" but I don't want to loose loved ones over something that should concern no one but me, but how do I hide something like this for the rest of my life? Like if I do discover I truly am a lesbian how do I hide that from my parents? Do I lie to them the rest of their lives? Do I pretend I'm heterosexual for their sake? I know I'm asking questions only I can answer for myself, I don't expect you to answer them. I'm honestly just ranting. All of this has been jumbled up in my head for a very long time and getting it all out,  telling a complete stranger for whatever reason is somewhat comforting. It's nice to have someone to talk to about this.

Answer
Bree,

As you mature, your desire for companionship is going to inspire your creativity in ways to pursue and obtain personal satisfaction. Your concern and need for the love and acceptance of your family will very likely be eclipsed by your desire to fulfill your needs.

I do not know what country you live in, but I know lesbians in many, many countries that have the same difficult circumstances that you have, and it is possible that I could put you in touch with a potential friend. The farther away they live from you the less of a threat they are, and if you take your time and keep your exact location and contacts to yourself until you feel a little trust, you might find a contact that would be enjoyable and make you feel less lonely. Let me know.

The way you describe your family I would be willing to bet that as soon as you are able you will move to a more diverse and friendly place and only visit for celebrations and funerals.

You can write to me any time that you feel like it, Bree. Let me know if I can help.

(((HUGS)))
Blue

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Blue Sleighty

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BLUE SLEIGHTY HAS BEEN AN EXPERT FOR OVER 5 YEARS! I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help you.

Experience

I have been a lesbian all of my life, and realized that there was something different going on with me by the time I was 6 years old. I have faced the same issues and have made many of the same mistakes that other lesbians have. Part of my journey as a woman and a lesbian has included educating myself, and exploring my sexuality and my body. I have had a wealth of experiences and while marching down my path seeking a better understanding of myself and others, I have gathered information along the way from studying publications of the best sex experts of our time, like Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle (who is a lesbian, now!), Xaviera Hollander (who is doing some great work on YouTube these days!), and many others. I have been fortunate to benefit from the wisdom, experience and research of these brilliant and brave women as well as my own. I have had an active and adventurous sex life and I am a healthy and happy woman. I am published and a widely known writer of lesbian erotica.

Publications
MySecretObsession.com, AuthorsDen.com, AuthorZone.com, CafeBoudoir.com, many others. Author of 25 short stories, and 3 novellas which can be found at Amazon.com, and Lulu.com , as well as many other on line book sellers. You can also find me on Facebook and Twitter.

Education/Credentials
Along with the privledge of having an oddly interesting and far from boring life which has afforded me a rather unique perspective, I have an AA from the Texas Academy of Art. I am a midwife and worked with a team of midwives at a birthing center where I performed well woman exams, managed prenatal care, and delivered babies as well as managing home births for 3 years, which gives me plenty of hands on experience with the female body. I have the equivalent of a MA in life experiences and personal independent study as measured by UH life credit testing, and I constantly read college psychology textbooks, Psychology/Psychiatry News in the AMAJ, Psychology Today, and other educational journals. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica. I am a lesbian mother of a now adult, well-adjusted, degreed, happily married for 5 years, heterosexual daughter. I'm 40.

Awards and Honors
Every time someone thanks me for helping them is an award and an honor for me. Also, I was just thanked by the author, 'the mysterious Jade', in the acknowledgements of her new, page turning lesbian erotic thriller, "Secretly Bound", for being her mentor and for inspiration, advice and friendship. I have business associations with some of the best artists and writers of our time.

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