AboutBlue Sleighty Expertise I will do my best to answer any legitimate question. If I can NOT answer it- I will be happy to provide references to someone that I believe can help.
Experience I have been a lesbian all of my life. I have had an active and adventurous sex life. I am published and widely known writer of lesbian erotica.
Education/Credentials I have an AA from Texas Academy of Art. I write professionally and am respected and loved in the genre of lesbian erotica.
Expert: Blue Sleighty Date: 7/26/2007 Subject: Pleasing a woman
Question I understand they say that some women get multiple orgasms and some don't is this true? If not, what can I do to increase the chances of her experiencing this? I'll worry about the possible stalking if we ever break up. . .
Answer Dear Sean,
It is true that some women experience multiple orgasms. It has been my experience that of women who DO experience multiple orgasms this does not happen every single time she has a sexual encounter. As a matter of fact- it is more likely to happen when she is alone and masturbating.
In order to increase the possibilities of your partner experiencing multiple orgasms with YOU, you need to get to know your partner's sexual preferences and her body very well. Pay attention to what "turns her on". What turns a woman on doesn't always start in the bedroom. With most women- it's emotional and even psychological.
Most women do not like pressure. They do not like or want to feel like they owe you sex, or that you will be angry if you do not get sex. They like to feel that there is more to a relationship than that (unless, of course, you have a mutual agreement that your relationship is only about sex). In either case- most people in general do not respond well to pressure when it comes to sex.
If she likes candle light, soft music and romance, and likes to be treated like she is the most special woman on the planet- then that needs to be what you give her. If she tends to like things a different way- then give her what she wants.
Multiple orgasms and great sex seem to be more likely when the woman is the initiator. If you have spent the day with a woman and you have both had such a great time that SHE is trying to get YOU in bed- your chances of really great sex are going to be much better.
Also taking the time to properly stimulate her before engaging in intercourse is absolutely essential. Wait until she tells you that she wants you, and your chances of giving her extraordinary satisfaction will increase greatly.
Being a good lover is more than just performing well in bed. But, when you ARE in bed take the time to do it well, and you will both be happy people.
There is an article on my website, mysecretobsession dot com, that gives very good information regarding the most effective ways to perform oral sex on a woman. There are also MANY links to websites that can give you very good insight on what makes women happy sexually.
The trick to the multiple orgasm thing is to bring your lover to orgasm, and then continue to keep her slightly stimulated. Not by direct contact to the clitoris which would be, at that point (immediately after orgasm), too sensitive to withstand more stimulation, but in other ways. Like kissing, nipple stimulation, stroking the inner thighs, manipulating the outer labia and lower stomach, oral attention to sensitive areas like the neck, and certainly combinations of these things. Keep your hands busy.
She will let you know if she is going to have another orgasm, and will likely tell you exactly what to do to get her there, at that point.
