AboutMichelle Expertise I can answer/explore questions regarding: coming out; conflicts of faith for both the gay/lesbian person accepting their own sexuality as well as friends/family accepting the sexuality of someone they care about; coming out to your children; talking to your teens about being gay; coming out of a long term opposite sex marriage; history of marriage; legal recognition of same gender marriages; how ultra-conservative religious training/upbringing affects gays and lesbians; being "out" in a small, conservative community; current dynamics of religion/dynamics.
Experience I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and still am a Christian. From my earliest memories, I always had "crushes" on girls/women, but because of my background and training, believed homosexuality was a "sin" and that I was an abomination. I believed it was a "choice" and I was determined to choose heterosexuality. I married a man (claimed to be a Christian, ended up being abusive), had three kids, and was married for 20 years. I attended a Christian college (had devastating crushes there) and at the age of 26 started writing and speaking for Christian groups across the United States and Canada. After fifteen years of teaching others to "remove the masks" I finally peeled away my last mask. I lost my church, my oldest friend, my career, and quite a few people I trusted and loved--but I gained my soul. You can't fool God. I used my experience and tweny-five years of biblical studies to understand how scriptures have been misused against the gay/lesbian/bi/trans community. I am now married to a woman (seven years) and active in the gay/lesbian community. I have made myself an expert on same gender marriage issues and legal cases. I am very involved in local, state, and national politics.
Organizations HRC
PFLAG
Equal Rights Washington
Legal Marriage Alliance
Publications
Two books and hundreds of articles for Christian publishers
Publisher's Weekly
Western Horseman
Education/Credentials 2.5 years of college, including a variety of theology classes.
11 years of seminars & workshops
20 years as a writer (fifteen of which were for Christian publishers)
Expert: Michelle Date: 5/11/2008 Subject: too many gfs?
Question Hi,
I've just come out in the last year and I met someone and got into a heavy relationship. We have trips planned and she calls me her partner. I do love her, but I'm so new I feel like I want to be with more people. But I don't want to lose her. She is very sweet and nice.
Then I started hanging out with this other woman. Last week we had sex and it was incredible. We got together last night, and again, off the charts. Should I tell #1. Are lesbians ok with this sort of thing or am I really blowing it. And I'm still looking around for more. I went for years with no sex at all and now I can't seem to get enough. Is this normal? I have never been like this before with men.
Thanks,
Liz
Answer First of all, yes, it is normal. Normal for you, and normal for lots of people...and as long as you are being honest with everyone concerned, it is okay. But if #1 doesn't know, you are probably in for a rough patch, because she may have assumed that the two of you are "exclusive" if you haven't discussed seeing (and being intimate with) other people. It doesn't mean there is something "bad" or "wrong" with you dating others, but it is something you want to be up front with everyone you are seeing. I think most people assume that when they start calling someone their "partner" that they are on the same page, and that often includes monogamy. Lesbians, gays, straights...all pretty much the same that way, and if anything, women tend to think that way even more.
So, have a heart to heart with all concerned, then take your time and do what is right for you. This is what is right for you at this point in your life...
