AboutMichelle Expertise I can answer/explore questions regarding: coming out; conflicts of faith for both the gay/lesbian person accepting their own sexuality as well as friends/family accepting the sexuality of someone they care about; coming out to your children; talking to your teens about being gay; coming out of a long term opposite sex marriage; history of marriage; legal recognition of same gender marriages; how ultra-conservative religious training/upbringing affects gays and lesbians; being "out" in a small, conservative community; current dynamics of religion/dynamics.
Experience I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and still am a Christian. From my earliest memories, I always had "crushes" on girls/women, but because of my background and training, believed homosexuality was a "sin" and that I was an abomination. I believed it was a "choice" and I was determined to choose heterosexuality. I married a man (claimed to be a Christian, ended up being abusive), had three kids, and was married for 20 years. I attended a Christian college (had devastating crushes there) and at the age of 26 started writing and speaking for Christian groups across the United States and Canada. After fifteen years of teaching others to "remove the masks" I finally peeled away my last mask. I lost my church, my oldest friend, my career, and quite a few people I trusted and loved--but I gained my soul. You can't fool God. I used my experience and tweny-five years of biblical studies to understand how scriptures have been misused against the gay/lesbian/bi/trans community. I am now married to a woman (seven years) and active in the gay/lesbian community. I have made myself an expert on same gender marriage issues and legal cases. I am very involved in local, state, and national politics.
Organizations HRC
PFLAG
Equal Rights Washington
Legal Marriage Alliance
Publications
Two books and hundreds of articles for Christian publishers
Publisher's Weekly
Western Horseman
Education/Credentials 2.5 years of college, including a variety of theology classes.
11 years of seminars & workshops
20 years as a writer (fifteen of which were for Christian publishers)
Expert: Michelle Date: 5/8/2008 Subject: A girlfriend who cant get over her ex
Question I have been seeing a woman over a month and she is wonderful we really click like I could never imagine. Only hitch she had to put a halt to all of it because she isnt all the way over her ex. She says she loves me but just needs a little time to do what needs to be done. Should I wait or go. I love her and I want to be with her we are both mothers with kids and this isnt typical for us to fall so quick we are just so good together. Past week or so she has been shutting me out all together said she needed to go underground and not let anyone in for awhile. Any advice
Answer Hi Jody, I usually advise taking people at their word for a little while. Not forever, but for a little while. I would say give her a couple more weeks to "go underground" and then ask her if the two of you can talk. If she is still shutting you out at that point, it would be a good idea to see if she is still seeing the ex. Not in a jealous way, but in a "I need to know where I stand" way. She may be one of those people who tends to go up and down, emotionally, and may "love you" today, and tomorrow not so much. The more time you spend together the better you will know her, and if this is the case, you will have to decide how that will affect you. You can love each other and still not be a mutually beneficial match. A little space is good and okay, but shutting you out if she loves you, not so good.
