AboutMaenad Loyce Expertise I can answer questions on discovering oneself in mid-life, lesbian relationships, where and how to connect to other lesbians, coming out, the whole 'religion' thing and most any other questions about lesbian life.
Experience I discovered I was a lesbian in my late 30's after being married for 8 years and having two children. I have been out ever since. I've been active in or visited many lesbian communities and have a large network of live and cyber contacts.
Education/Credentials There is no such thing as a degree in Lesbian but I've studied Psychology, Sociology and Women's Studies at university level. I believe my personal experience counts more toward at least a Bachelor's education level in Lesbian.
Expert: Maenad Loyce Date: 6/22/2008 Subject: I can't tell if she really likes me.
Question So here is my situation I've gotten myself into once again. I'm a lesbian and I'm completely out. I'm talking to this girl whom in the past has been or been telling herself that she is "straight." She has moved away from me and lives in another state so unless i fly out to see her we communicate through text MSG. and phone conversations. We talk all the time, i mean ALL the time. Everyday every second. She tells me things like she misses me, and can't wait to see me; that I'm her everything and i always make her happy, and smile, and all that jazz. I'm really falling for this girl but I'm not sure if I'm just a crutch for her until she finds a guy to go out with. Part of me feels like shes so attached to me because i give her the attention she wants and needs; the other part of me truly thinks she likes me. I've asked her that to see where she stands and she assures me that shes not going to hurt me and lead me on. I'm just confused. What do you think?
Answer Your situation is not that uncommon, C. I've seen many straight women flirt, tease and generally fall all over their lesbian friends and it's often made me wonder. I sometimes think they just like the attention, too. Occasionally a straight woman doing this will discover her latent homosexuality but just as often she only enjoys the byplay.
There's no sure way to tell what your friend's intentions are except to ask. You've already done that but now you must accept what she says. You can only take what she says at face value because you have nothing else to go on. Her behavior could mean any of a dozen things. If you allow yourself to fall madly in love with her you're taking a big risk. My suggestion is to keep your heart under your hat until you have a much clearer reason to give it away.
