AboutMichelle Expertise I can answer/explore questions regarding: coming out; conflicts of faith for both the gay/lesbian person accepting their own sexuality as well as friends/family accepting the sexuality of someone they care about; coming out to your children; talking to your teens about being gay; coming out of a long term opposite sex marriage; history of marriage; legal recognition of same gender marriages; how ultra-conservative religious training/upbringing affects gays and lesbians; being "out" in a small, conservative community; current dynamics of religion/dynamics.
Experience I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and still am a Christian. From my earliest memories, I always had "crushes" on girls/women, but because of my background and training, believed homosexuality was a "sin" and that I was an abomination. I believed it was a "choice" and I was determined to choose heterosexuality. I married a man (claimed to be a Christian, ended up being abusive), had three kids, and was married for 20 years. I attended a Christian college (had devastating crushes there) and at the age of 26 started writing and speaking for Christian groups across the United States and Canada. After fifteen years of teaching others to "remove the masks" I finally peeled away my last mask. I lost my church, my oldest friend, my career, and quite a few people I trusted and loved--but I gained my soul. You can't fool God. I used my experience and tweny-five years of biblical studies to understand how scriptures have been misused against the gay/lesbian/bi/trans community. I am now married to a woman (seven years) and active in the gay/lesbian community. I have made myself an expert on same gender marriage issues and legal cases. I am very involved in local, state, and national politics.
Organizations HRC
PFLAG
Equal Rights Washington
Legal Marriage Alliance
Publications
Two books and hundreds of articles for Christian publishers
Publisher's Weekly
Western Horseman
Education/Credentials 2.5 years of college, including a variety of theology classes.
11 years of seminars & workshops
20 years as a writer (fifteen of which were for Christian publishers)
Question were not legally married but last year we exchanged rings and vows and called it a marriage, we had been together for four years.now a couple we know has broken up after 12 years and my wife has been hanging out with the rejected woman and now tells me she thinks we need to break up,i really dont know whats going on,is this other woman trying to be with my wife. i tried asking her but she says she thinks about us breaking up everyday cause she thinks I would be happier i tell her im happy with her so is it just a cop out because she wants somthing new?
Answer Hi Billie, I am so sorry to hear that she moved out...it has to be really hard for you right now, and I am sorry she couldn't work through it with you. I hope you are okay...take care of your heart...
Michelle
Hi Billie...I think that if she is thinking about breaking up every single day, then whether it is because she thinks YOU would be happier or she thinks SHE would be happier, it doesn't really matter. A problem is there, and one that if you are going to make it together, is going to have to be figured out. I think couples counseling could be very helpful to find out what is really going on. It doesn't mean that she and the other woman are forming any kind of relationship, it may be a matter of seeing her situation makes her more aware of something that isn't right in your relationship, or something she needs. Don't dismiss anything as a "cop out" or just wanting something new. Relationships go through transitions and they don't stay the same. Part of that is realizing that there is something in us that is lacking or missing or just could be better. We can ignore it and hope it goes away and find out it doesn't, or we can try to figure it out together and hope we can just keep getting better and stronger. Be willing to talk about it, be willing to get some counseling. If she is thinking about breaking up every day, it may be too late, but hopefully she will be willing to at least try.
