| |
You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Lesbian Life > Coming out
Expert: Kay - 10/21/2009
Question
Well, I'm almost 19 and have accepted the fact I was a lesbian almost 2 years ago now. I've told my parents and my best friend, but I'm worried about finally coming out completely. I know I want to, but I can't imagine how much it will change my life as I don't know anyone else who is out. For example, I'm going on holiday soon with a group of friends and I'm sharing a room with a friend who is a girl, and I'm worried if she knew then she wouldn't want to share a room with me. I won't have come out before we end up going, but it's things like that that worry me about the future.
I was thinking about coming out when I go to Uni next year, but it still doesn't help me know what I'm going to end up facing.
My question is, how will coming out change my life? It's scary because there's no going back after it's done.
Answer
Hi Abbey,
You are right,
There is no going back once you do make the decision to come out which is you have to be sure it is something that you want to do. Make sure you are not rushed into doing so or you may regret it.
Also make sure you dont make the mistake of telling too many people because some people you just cant trust. You dont want the wrong people knowing that you are out because they will just spread it around and you may not want certain people to know.
Also you have to know that you DONT need to come out. This is a life long process and it should be your decision. Straight people don't come out saying "hey im straight" so you dont have to broadcast your sexuality.
Also as you may already know there are going to be quite of few ignorant people, especially depending where in the world your located. There are some open minded communities and other places that really don't tolerate the Gay lifestyle. So there will be that one person that may think just because you are a lesbian you want them. I so hate that because its like come on! Its like just because their straight, they will actually like every person of the opposite sex. You will just have to ignore that.
As for your friend that you are worried about sharing a hotel room with I wouldn't say anything to her about your sexuality. People that Im unsure if they would be cool with my sexuality or not, I dont let them know my business because you dont want any problems.
I am not telling you to hide your sexuality but you don't owe that information to anyone, unless you want them to know.
To answer your last question, coming out will change your life depending on the TYPE of person you are. In my experience there are two types of people. You have those that are secure with themselves and are comfy with wearing their sexualities on their shoulder. They tend not to care what you or anyone else may think of them. Therefore the transitition is easier for them.
Next you have the type of person that worries about what other people think. They may have family that have already expressed their dislike for GAY people so it makes it hard for them to come out. Some than try to live in the closet or live the forced life of pretending to be straight. That is not a good life because they are the ones that are suffering.
If you have a clear understanding that this is your life and you have to do what is best for you, surround your self around people that love and accept you and not worry about the few haters that may come your way, you will be good.
Hoep this helps
Add to this Answer Ask a Question
|
|
