AboutLauren Lopez Expertise I feel with great confidence that I would be able to answer any questions related lesbian relationships. In addition I feel that I would be able to address further questions related to the emotional/mental conflicts many lesbians face with the "coming-out" process and with accepting their sexuality. Questions in general that ask for advice circling lesbianism are questions that I feel prepared to answer and assist with in any way possible. Questions that require medical diagnosis, legal advice, or absolute professional counseling I would not be able to answer as I am not a licensed professional in those areas.
Experience I myself am a lesbian who has gone through numerous amounts of life experiences pertaining to the lesbian life. I have dealt with a troubled "coming-out" process, I have held online debates about lesbianism and rights, and I have mentored friends and other lesbians through online message boards. Granted I am not a licensed professional in any related field, I feel as though my personal experiences as a lesbian and through small mentorships does provide me with adequate ability to potentially help other lesbians like myself. As far as writing in concerned, for purposes of this site, it has always been a passion of mine.
Organizations I belong to NCLR (National Center for Lesbian Rights). I am also an honorary member for Kiwanis International, which is an unrelated organization but focus on helping to support our communities and youth.
Publications Up until this point, there are no publication where my writing can be viewed. I am taking this first step with AllExperts in hopes that it will be a good start and even greater experience for me.
Education/Credentials I am currently working towards a bachelors degree in an unrelated field-Business Administration with an emphasis on small business management and entrepreneurship. However, in my first years of college I studied psychology, in general, with great emphasis and curiousity. I studied human sexuality and focused on theories of homosexuality and same-sex rights. I steered away from psychology however when I relocated and began focusing on business with plans to open my own business someday. Psychology and human sexuality still remain a focus for me, but as more of a hobby now.
Awards and Honors From Kiwanis International in Torrance, CA I was made an honorary member and awarded a scholarship "for being such an inspiration." My first years in college I was on the Dean's list and welcomed into the Honor Society. In addition I love to write, particularly poetry, and was once nominated for Poet of the Year.
Past/Present Clients The only past "clients" I have had were friends of mine or strangers I mentored years ago via online message boards. Currently only friends of mine, or friends of friends are people I openly and willingly give advice and support to.
Question I identify as a lesbian even though I have only had relationships with men. I am no longer in a relationship with a man and in light of my understanding of my sexuality I have decided to not become involved in relationships with men any longer. The thing is I have become sexually aroused by men, but only through stimulation and not actually through attraction to their bodies. Sorry if this is too explicit. On the other hand, whenever I am around a woman I find to be beautiful I feel a strong attraction. I guess what confuses me is that straight women are stereotyped as being not necessarily attracted to men. Women aren't supposed to be "visual" like men are, which is the reason given why men enjoy porn and women don't? So I guess a part of me is wondering if straight women are ever attracted to men's bodies? Is it typical? That fact that I'm even conflicted about this question is strange. Consciously I am comfortable with how I feel, but it seems like there's a part of me still trying to identify as straight.
Answer Hello Nicole,
If you are only aroused by men through stimulation, and are not mentally nor emotionally stimulated by men, then you probably are lesbian. That does not mean however that you cannot look at a man and think he is physically attractive, why not? I have a lot of straight girl friends that can look at another beautiful girl and say wow she is beautiful or very attractive. Now, does that mean this straight girl wants to have sex with this other girl? Generally, no unless she wants to explore sexually. I don't know that I believe that straight women are not attracted to men visually-I've never heard of that before. I have lots of straight friends, both male and female, who are both visually attracted to the opposite sex. They are not only attracted to the body of the opposite-sex, but they can get aroused looking at the body and are also stimulated in a mental/emotional way to the opposite-sex in such a way that they would want to pursue a serious romantic relationship. I know both straight men and women, as well as gay men and lesbians who like watching porn, not just straight males. I am not sure where you have gotten your information, but it may have been isolate to just one particular person or a couple persons. If you still find men's bodies attractive, but feel as though you are a lesbian, then there is nothing wrong with that. You don't have to classify yourself as straight because you say "wow, he is a good looking guy with a good looking body." So what. Anyone can appreciate and admit when someone is good looking no matter their sexual-orientation. You have to be comfortable in yourself and in who you are first and foremost. Don't limit yourself and your happiness to a label. If you feel as though you can have a romantic and loving relationship with a guy, perhaps you are bisexual. No matter what your sexual orientation, own it and don't be afraid. If you doubt yourself, you sabotage your own happiness and it's never worth it. I hope this helps you at least some. Good luck and take care!
