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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Lesbian Life > ;s
Expert: Kay - 10/26/2009
Question
QUESTION: hi! im 18 turning 19 this year and i've never done this before. basically.. just to give you some background on me, i;m in uni now in melbourne (which is why i chose you hahah (: ) it's my first year here. i've been in an all girls school for my secondary school years and a co-ed school after that. in my all girls school i sort of had crushes on my girl friend who was a butch but never acted on it. in my co-ed school i had a relationship with a boy. but now in uni, i met (i say met but i've never talked to her at all wtf) this girl, and she's like.. awesome. i had thoughts about being with her but what's holding me back is that i don't know if she is lesbian and if i am or not. she has short hair, dresses really tomboy like and is really exuberant. i'm the complete opposite! and i'm shy so i don;t approach people (which i'm trying to work on!) its now the end of semester and i found her on facebook and was thinking of sending her a message but don't want to appear like a creeper! what should i do?
ANSWER: Hi Priscilla,
There is nothing wrong with requesting her friend on facebook. It happens all the time and shouldnt mean you are a stalker. Now I wouln't come out and ask if she is gay but you should definitely start off as her friend and get to know her. Requesting her as your friend would get you in the door.
Try to not to judge whether someone is gay by how they act or the clothes they where because often times you can be wrong.
Hope this helps
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: thanks! but the thing is she doesn't even know i exist! or at least i don;t think she does. i was thinking of adding her and writing a note something like 'hope it isn't too late to be friends (: i'm in your tute'? would that be alright? she seems to hang out with guys quite a bit too, does that mean anything? and i;m not judging her but i just have a feeling she might not be straight (: sorry i'm asking so many questions that might seem illogical! i'm new at this. and also, i tend to kind of clam up around the person i like/ have a crush on. i just don't know what to say sometimes! thank you so much for answering me!
Answer
Hi,
Im in your tute? I dont know what that means but there is nothing wrong with requesting her/letting her know who you are. Im sure she probably recognizes you. I cant really say that it means anything because she hangs out with guys. My sister hangs out with guys and she is not gay. So you really can't go by those things. Some women just get a long better with guys.
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