AboutLauren Lopez Expertise I feel with great confidence that I would be able to answer any questions related lesbian relationships. In addition I feel that I would be able to address further questions related to the emotional/mental conflicts many lesbians face with the "coming-out" process and with accepting their sexuality. Questions in general that ask for advice circling lesbianism are questions that I feel prepared to answer and assist with in any way possible. Questions that require medical diagnosis, legal advice, or absolute professional counseling I would not be able to answer as I am not a licensed professional in those areas.
Experience I myself am a lesbian who has gone through numerous amounts of life experiences pertaining to the lesbian life. I have dealt with a troubled "coming-out" process, I have held online debates about lesbianism and rights, and I have mentored friends and other lesbians through online message boards. Granted I am not a licensed professional in any related field, I feel as though my personal experiences as a lesbian and through small mentorships does provide me with adequate ability to potentially help other lesbians like myself. As far as writing in concerned, for purposes of this site, it has always been a passion of mine.
Organizations I belong to NCLR (National Center for Lesbian Rights). I am also an honorary member for Kiwanis International, which is an unrelated organization but focus on helping to support our communities and youth.
Publications Up until this point, there are no publication where my writing can be viewed. I am taking this first step with AllExperts in hopes that it will be a good start and even greater experience for me.
Education/Credentials I am currently working towards a bachelors degree in an unrelated field-Business Administration with an emphasis on small business management and entrepreneurship. However, in my first years of college I studied psychology, in general, with great emphasis and curiousity. I studied human sexuality and focused on theories of homosexuality and same-sex rights. I steered away from psychology however when I relocated and began focusing on business with plans to open my own business someday. Psychology and human sexuality still remain a focus for me, but as more of a hobby now.
Awards and Honors From Kiwanis International in Torrance, CA I was made an honorary member and awarded a scholarship "for being such an inspiration." My first years in college I was on the Dean's list and welcomed into the Honor Society. In addition I love to write, particularly poetry, and was once nominated for Poet of the Year.
Past/Present Clients The only past "clients" I have had were friends of mine or strangers I mentored years ago via online message boards. Currently only friends of mine, or friends of friends are people I openly and willingly give advice and support to.
Question I had read some of the questions in here before I decided to write for help. That's very interesting to realize that some people are having the same problem like me. I have moved here in U.S since June, and of course my English isn't perfect, so my apology for that matter too.
Now I would like to get to the point, I'm 20 and I'm a trainee in interior designing company. There is one girl who works with my team, she's 22 and she's our supervisor. As if I had never seen anyone so beautiful in my life before, and the first time I met her, I was dazed.
We started talking together as normal colleagues, mostly about work. But sometime she said something sweet with me, I didn't know whether it's called "flirt" or not, I am so shy and she's so confident, but we both are young and feminine... I meant it's next to impossible that I'm attracted to women, but this girl keeps getting along with me even more every day.
Example like,
- she always comes to my cube and sometime she leaned so close behind my back with her arms on the my desk, I could even feel her breathing down my neck while I was sitting, and I became stiff every time she did.
-Once she scrutinized my face and said she'd never seen anyone who looks like me, I felt so shy and told her I'm mixed, I've got a German dad and a Cambodian mom. And she got all surprised to know it and she said "That's why you look strangely beautiful!"
- She brought a cup of starbucks for me one day, but I said I'm allergic to caffeine, and it sounded weird to her, I told her that whenever I drink coffee, I'd sneeze non-stop, she laughed and pined my cheek lightly.
- Another time when we were studying our project at my cubicle, she closed the table drawer with my fingers stuck between it, but I have a funny habit, I always exaggerate the pain, I screamed and she turned white in terror, she grabbed my hand and placed it over her lip, until I said "No no it's okay! I was only screaming for fun," she released my hand immediately like she was surprised with her action too.
- After we finished our work, we celebrated a party, she was always by my side like we were each other's date. She rubbed my hand and interlocked my fingers, she brought me a drink, but I said "No thanks! I don't drink," she said, I'm her baby-girl
She told I was weird and yet very cool, and that she likes everything about me. But I am confused with everything about her.
Could you tell me, what kind of feeling was that? Does she like me in a way that could be more than just friends. Was I accidentally leading her on? She is great, I like her too, but I don't know whether it's just our phase.
I hope you could give me some opinions, thank you!
With love,
Nath
Answer Hello Nath,
Well your English sounds pretty good to me =). Given what you have mentioned, particularly the part about her "rubbing your hand," "interlocking your fingers," and calling you "her baby-girl," it does sound as though there may be some attraction there. The only way to know for sure, however, is to talk to her. You should find some time to talk to her in private when you know that the two of you will have a good amount of time to talk. Bring up the day of the party and how she interlocked your fingers and said that you were her baby-girl. Tell her that you just want to know what all of that meant. She may be scared to say anything, but tell her not to be scared, because no matter what she says, you are okay with it. Tell her that you were just a little confused by it, but that you just want to know the truth behind it. You should even tell her that it didn't bother you, that you didn't mind it, and if you want to you can even tell her that you kind of liked it and that it made you feel good. Perhaps there is an attraction, or perhaps she feels like she has to look out for you in some way. However, you will never know until you talk to her, so talk to her! You can do it, don't be scared. It is the only way you will get the answer you are looking for. Good luck Nath, I know it is going to take some courage to do, but no matter what she says, you will feel a big relief in doing so. Best wishes and take care!
