AboutKay Experience I am 26-yrs. old with a B.A. in psychology. But more importantly, I know what it's like to grow up not understanding why you feel the way that you do. I slept with men in the past simply because I believed it was "the right thing to do". I would like to reach out to others like me - to help them accept themselves, and feel comfortable around their family and friends if they decide to come out of the closet.
Question Iam nearly 39, and have been romatically involved with women since I was 14. I find men attractive and can appreciate much of their being but in terms of having a true connection it has always been with women for me. Why, i dont know, i dont question that any longer i just go with the flow of who iam. I have been in many relationships with women, primarily long term but I have been single since dec 07 when a two year relationship ended. After that, I met a woman who was a mutual friend of a good friend of mine. I knew much of her and was anxious to meet her only because I had heard much of her from my friend as being a wonderful, funny person in general. I had no, expectations, thoughts or other of falling madly in love with this person. Thus, it happened. We get along great, we always have a great time and seem to love each other unconditionally and I have not felt this way in all time. She once told me via the phone that she liked me alot, was having alot of emotions and was very confused and that she wanted to talk about things in person. I then had to go out of town so I tried to talk about it via the phone but basically she kinda dumped the subject and never brought it up again. When i exclaimed my feelings for her and mentioned her conversation to me, she again indicated she didnt remember the portion other than being confused. She has only been with men but has experienced nothing serious since her high school days just flings here and there that dont appear to bring her much internal happiness. She is 34 and I believe suffers from BDD and has a record of therft which I believe stems from her BDD.
I am her roommate so we have a close living situation. I care for her deeply and truly love her unconditionally but yet it has been frustrating for me as I am in love with her and unsure what to do. I feel if I move on that I am moving from something pure and beautiful. We connect and join so well. All blaffing. This all comes at a time when I have been experiencing other areas of loss as I lost my job in Nov, my beagle of 7 years to an accident while I was traveling out of town and fraud on my bank account. It has been loss, loss and rejection.
But I keep a positive pace. Just trying to make sense of all this. Thank you for your time.
KE
Answer Hi KE,
I am not sure that I follow you. What is it that you hope to accomplish and why do you thnk she has BDD is this: body dysmorphic disorder??
Either way, she is not gay or atleast doesn't idenitify as being and it will be difficult for you to do anything, especially if she has an disorder. Since you already told her how you felt, I would just go with the flow. Verbally telling someone how you feel, is the last step in letting them know that you like them. There is not much else for you to say. It is now up to her. Maybe you can bring the subject up to her again to see if she would come around. Either way, I wouldn't push it. You already have her as a friend, so you can always build on that.
Hope this helps.
