AboutLena Torres Expertise Can Answer Questions about Lesbian Life: Dating, Relationships, Breakups, Cheating and Every day Co-habitation. Prefer not to Respond to: Intricate Psychological Disorder questions (though I can refer to other resources i.e. websites/counceling for information and help)
Experience Worked for 5 years within the domestic violence field, assisting victims to get their lives back on track; through facilitating support-groups, workshops and individual counceling. Continue to be an active member of the lesbian community, providing referals and support to fellow lesbians through church and other groups.
Organizations FVS (domestic violence group in Florida) and various church groups.
Education/Credentials B.A. in Journalism, with heavy research concentration in Social Psychology and Human Relations. Working toward Masters.
Awards and Honors Received commendation award for public relations work and teamwork/unity and team-leadership awards within a corporate setting.
Question ok so my best friend is bi and i cant tell whether or not she is in to me or if shes just extremely flirty
-she always sits on my lap
-grabs my hand to hold it
-kisses my hand/my cheek
-massages my back
-hugs me or puts her arm around me
i dont know maybe im thinking about it too much but i figured id ask someone who knows a little more about this than me
Answer Dear Just,
I get this type of question a lot. Signs to look for are:
~ Is she just as flirtatious with other people?
~ When you guys go somewhere together, just the two of you, does she dedicate special attention to her appearance in preparing?
~ Do you sense something might be behind the way she looks at you?
~ Is she dating anyone else? Why or why not?
~ Do you have feelings for her? Is there an equal distribution of caring gestures between you?
~ Is she flirty with you more so at certain times than at others? Meaning, does she do it mostly when her boyfriend is around or when you are alone?
Just sitting on your lap or holding your hand might not mean much, in and of itself. But in conjunction with a few of the above actions, it may point to romantic intentions. You should subtract points for the possibility that she might be trying to make her boyfriend jealous if that seems like the case or if it is just her nature (it's not just with you, but with everyone else too).
If you are looking for affirmation that you are not losing your mind and that indeed all that you have listed above are authentic signs of flirting, I'd say they definitely are and the combination of a few of them, is certainly grounds for you to approach her and simply ask: How come you like to, kiss, hold, sit on me so much? Do you have a crush on me or something? See? Harmless!
