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Lesbian Life/Doesn't have time for me


I need help with my partner how can I get her to want to spend time with me make time for me. We gave five kids four are mine and one is her nephew I love family time but how can I get her to spend time with me?????? I tell her and her first response is their us no money or u just want to go out dancing. All I want is a nice diner or a movie but just us. What should I do plz help. I love her so much but she doesn't want to b out with me.

Hi Nancy,

Well, you can't "make" anyone want to spend time with you. She would have to "want" to spend time with you for that to happen. It sounds like she might want a family night out instead but it is possible to get her out with just the two of you.

If I were in your situation, I would find someone to watch the kids and surprise her with a nice dinner out, no kids. I'll guess she doesn't like dancing. Think about what she does like and take her out to do that. If it is something she likes, she should want to go out and have fun, with just you.

If she doesn't want to be out with you, like ever, and she doesn't make time for you or want to spend time with you, you might want to reevaluate your relationship. People in relationships usually want to spend time together. I know my partner has no trouble getting me out with her and I can't wait until she comes home at the end of the day. She is my priority and that is how a relationship should be. You deserve to be with someone who makes you their priority and wants to go out with you and makes time for you. Disregard this portion if I misunderstood your message. :)

Bottom line, surprise her with something she likes to do and find someone to watch the kids. Hope this helps. If not, feel free to follow up.

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Alicia Thompson


I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.


I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

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