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Lesbian Life/Bi but there's a problem


Hi i'am 25 year old female I've just latly like a couple months ago realized I'm bisexual even though I have gotten with a women way before then and enjoyed it.i have always  found women attractive and when I got older I became  very attracted to women sexually .For a while now I've been interested in women romactally .i have a wonderfull bf but some thing is missing I don't even like the ideal of sex with guys as much as I use to .all I mostly think about is women's body's that seems to be what I really like . Also I like the ideal of dating a women . I wanna kiss and cuddle and more with a girl I have imaged my self dating a girl and hanging out the weird thing is though latly with in a week or bit more i had 3 dreams of dating women the last one had very strong like I wanted to be with her long time. Why am I having thoses kind of dreams? Is bisexual the right label for me?cause I like guys and straight sex but the desire to date and have sex with them has decresaed a lot And I don't know why . Can u help me please

Hi Tammy,

I guess the first thing I would tell you is to not worry about how to label yourself. Labels are more for other people than yourself. It sounds like you want to be with women, at least for right now.

You should have a very long and open talk with your bf about how you are feeling because it is not fair to him for you to be fantasizing so much about women. I would suggest after you have talked with him and you decide what will happen with your relationship, try going on a few dates with women and see how you feel.

You can't label your sexual identity yet because you could date a woman and decide you would rather date men. Or, you could date a woman and decide you don't want to date men or you might decide you like both.

Your dreams and thoughts about women probably won't stop until you explore your feelings toward women. You're having these dreams because you want to be with a woman or you are at least curious about being with a woman.

Go to a gay bar or carefully try online dating and go out on a few dates with different women and see how you feel. Keep an open mind and an open heart and you'll figure everything out. I wish you lots of luck!

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Alicia Thompson


I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.


I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

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