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Lesbian Life/"Should I ? or Shouldn't I ?"


Hi there, my question is whether or not I should contact my professor over the summer.
I have another year of school with this teacher, which I am 99% sure she is gay, was single when I asked her and is in her early 50s. I am 30, have made it obvious that I am interested in her from the begining of the school year. I think that we have some kind of chemistry- but I might be just imagining what I want too. I asked her to have lunch she said no but thanks for asking. At the end of the school year I asked if I could hug her and she was hesitant but said yes. It was super quick and nothing at all inappropriate, however very nice.
I pretty much think about her daily and dont want to date anyone else, I would much rather wait untill I graduate and get to know her better. I dont think she is the type of person to have a secret relationship and especially risk her job and I am not wanting that either, I care about her and can wait to go out her, but is emailing her bad?  
In the meantime, over summer I am technically not a student, so could I contact her? And what would be the best way ? Facebook? Call her?

Any advice would be great thanks-

Hi Melanie,

Quite honestly, I would leave your professor alone. There are almost always rules in place about professors and students having personal relationships. As you said, you don't want to risk her job and you could also face disciplinary action.

I would also say, if she was interested in you, she would have gone to lunch with you. Students and faculty have lunches all the time. I've had many lunches (and some dinners and drinks) with my instructors (and sometimes others from my classes). If someone wants to get to know you they will do that. If she was really interested (regardless of rules), she would have joined you for lunch or if she wasn't available at that time, would have suggested another time. Also, she didn't sound overly enthused about the hugging either.

I would let her be and finish out your college career. You never know who you might meet during your last year. And, if after graduation, you still find yourself wanting your professor, then go for it. But for now, I would back off.

I hope this helps. Good luck with everything and I hope your finals went well. :)

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Alicia Thompson


I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.


I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

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