Lesbian Life/me

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: im 20 years of age and i seem to be a bit lost really. i have a family who dont believe in same sex relationships and yet i find myself being attracted to this female who ive been talking to for quite a while. ever since i saw her i know ive been attracted to her but ive never been attracted to a female before. is all this normal?

ANSWER: Hi Claire,

Yes, this is all normal. My parents are religious and don't agree with same sex relationships but they love me anyway and accept my wife as my spouse and treat her wonderfully. My wife's parents hate gay people and have never even met me and refuse to step foot in our home and pretend I don't exist. You don't need to worry about your family accepting you or who you love. You need to think about what makes you happy and follow your heart. You only live once and you should be happy with your life and not be miserable because someone else doesn't approve.

Your family will always love you so don't worry about that part of things. Find what you want in life and go get it. If you want to pursue this girl, go for it! You deserve to be happy. Always be yourself and put yourself first. You don't have to share your dating life with your family if they don't approve. Keep it to yourself (not a secret just only discuss it with people who do approve) and live your life. Everything will be ok.

Good luck!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: so effictively i dont have to tell my family about who im attracted too? they have had it hard in life with the way i am and they expect certain things from me specifically me getting with a guy and having kids. this girl since talkong to her its like a light going off in my head and she brightens up my day. im also guessing that if i was too be with girl it would complicate things with having a kid at some point?

Answer
Hi Claire,

It is your life and your happiness so no, you don't have to tell your family about your love life. What happens in your love life is your own business and no one else's. You are your own person and this is your life. You need to follow your heart and what makes you happy. We all feel the need to follow the dreams our parents have for us but that isn't fair to kids. People need to follow their own dreams and be who they are and do what makes them happy.

Having kids shouldn't be an issue. There is always adoption or sperm banks. Lesbian couples have it easy when it comes to having kids. There are always sperm donors available. It can be expensive to get pregnant but it is completely possible to have a family while in a lesbian couple.

Good luck!

Lesbian Life

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Alicia Thompson

Expertise

I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.

Experience

I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

Organizations
I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

Education/Credentials
I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.