Lesbian Life/What to do?


Hi Alicia, I am Mary. I have a daughter who is 17 years old. We are very friendly and close. She never keeps any secret to me and shares everythig. I have brought her up like this. Now, I am in a confusion. 2 days ago, in the evening, she came to me and told me that she has a girlfriend. I didn't get it first than she explained it. The girl is her classmate and stays in a hostel. Now she wants her to stay with us. I don't have any problem with her but still I am a bit confused. Should I allow them to sleep in my house? Umm... actually I am lesbian too... but now I don't have any girlfriend. I fear I would make a wrong move. What do you think? What should I do?

Hi Mary,

You sound like a very reasonable and loving parent. I'm not really sure what I would do in your situation. Do you know anything about this girl? Is she a good person or will she be a bad influence on your daughter? Thinking it over now, I guess if I were in your postition I wouldn't allow the girlfriend to move in with us. How would you feel about it if your daughter was asking for her boyfriend to move in with you? Your daughter is 17 and should not be living with her significant other yet. At 17, relationships come and go pretty quickly, living together in your house can cause a lot of problems. At 17, your daughter is still a child and has her whole life ahead of her. Living with a significant other just isn't appropriate right now. However, if the girl is homeless or in a really, really bad living situation you could set some rules for her living there- for example, sleeping in separate rooms, curfews, homework rules, and length of time to live there. That would be okay. I would suggest you trust your instincts and do what you think is right. I wish you all the best.

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Alicia Thompson


I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.


I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

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