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Lesbian Life/I don't know how to do this


I have known that I don't really care about what someone's gender is for a really long time, that has never been my issue. I just recently ended a long term relationship because I was not attracted to the guy anymore. I decided I needed to step back and really just look at my life and figure myself out. I realized that I hadn't been attracted to the guy in a really long time, which alone wouldn't be a huge deal but it occurred to me that that is what has happened in almost all of my relationships (save for a few that just ended very badly). After thinking about it even more I realized that I might actually prefer women because, looking back, I might have always been more attracted to them. That realization doesn't bother me and I already know my family doesn't care, however I don't really know what to do about it. I have really minimal experience with a girl and that was when I was 16 and in my junior year of high school, I am now 20 and a junior in college. There were only three girls in my high school, including me, so there wasn't a lot to work with there. However now I just don't really know what to do. I don't know how to show someone that I am interested, I've never been good at that. I don't know how to meet other girls who are into girls, I'm not really into parties so I don't go to clubs and I work 40 hours a week on top of classes so I've never really stopped to find clubs or groups or anything. I don't really want to meet someone romantically yet but I really want to talk to people who have gone through, at least something similar to, what I am going through now. I don't really know where to go from here and I think that I am ready to discover this side of me that has basically gone unnoticed for that past 4 years. I could really use help figuring this out.

Hi Hayley,

A good place to start would be your college's lgbt group. I know you're pretty busy but it really is a great place to meet people, talk to other people going through the same things as you, and to meet people and date. I was the president of my college's group and I'm so happy I was involved. If you can't make their weekly meetings, maybe you can attend one of their activities in upcoming weeks. They should have contact information. Send them an email and ask any questions you have about anything. These groups are very open and really want to be there for anyone who needs them. They may even be able to make suggestions of ways to meet people in your area. I hope this helps. If not, feel free to follow-up. Good luck!

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Alicia Thompson


I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.


I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

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