Lesbian Life/Sex problem



We are two girls who`ve been together for 3 years. We`ve tried a lot when it comes to sex, among others, we`ve tried using a strap on. My girlfriend doesn`t like it at all. It doesn`t turn her on, and she feels that she`s not a part of the act. She needs to feel that we both are envolved, and doesn`t like any penetration sex that doesn`t envolve her fingers. The thing is, I like it and it turns me on. I like penetration sex and i think its very erotic and i like the thought of her hands all over me during strap on sex. I also like that when we use a strap on our bodys are closer.(if that makes sense)

Do you have any suggestions on what could make us both happy without the use of a strap on or a dildo? Or any other suggestions?

Thank you!

Hi Helle,

Not every couple is 100% compatible when it comes to sex. Everyone likes something different. I would suggest doing things you both enjoy the majority of the time. However, if your gf loves you, she will use the strap on occasionally because you like it. If you enjoy it, she should want to do things that you really enjoy. She doesn't have to use it every time you have sex but she should be willing to do so sometimes. I'm sure there are things she enjoys that you do that may not be your favorite thing to do. Relationships take work from both sides so this might be something she has to do from time to time. Hope that helps. Have fun!

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Alicia Thompson


I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.


I am a lesbian and have lived openly for over 15 years. I had to figure lesbian life out on my own because it wasn't socially acceptable when I came out. I belonged to gay clubs in college and have pretty much seen it all in the gay community. i am currently in a very happy lesbian relationship but I had to date a lot of toads before I found my princess. I've always been the advice giver for my friends. I just like to see people happy and talking to someone on the outside of the situation usually helps.

I volunteer for the local YMCA and served as a Big Sister until the local chapter ran out of money and closed.

I have an Associate's Degree in Humanities and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communications.

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