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Lesbian Life/Questions Answered by Expert Coco M Davis
| Subject | Date Asked |
| confused | 2/14/2010 |
| Q: as of now, im 19 and i know iam attracted to girls since i came out to my parents at the age of 14. ... A: a lot of people get confused when they try to label themselves. My advice is don't worry about it. ... | |
| Was she flirting with me? | 2/12/2010 |
| Q: You recently posted a question to Liselle in category Lesbian Life: Hi, I have a quick question. ... A: Your question was how can you tell if a girl is flirting or just being nice. The only real way to ... | |
| In love with my friend | 2/9/2010 |
| Q: I am a "straight" woman who met my friend 2 years ago. She is a lesbian and asked me out on a date. ... A: it sounds like you have a lot going on emotionally. I would like to point out a couple of things and ... | |
| Confused and searching for the right way. | 2/8/2010 |
| Q: I am a 20 year old college student. I have had two girlfriends in the past. I am with a guy right ... A: Stephanie, thank you for your question. I really feel for you because I was in the same situation ... | |
| what should i do ? | 2/2/2010 |
| Q: all the times i did this i was really nervous and start to shake and got a strange excitement ... A: Nadya, Thanks for your question. My simple answer is that you need to ask her that. Any intimate ... | |
| Am I a Lesbian? | 2/1/2010 |
| Q: Okay, In RS we watched a video about homosexuality and I satrted worrying and was wondering if you ... A: The most important thing to realize here is that you don't need to know if you are a "lesbian". You ... | |
| i don't know what to do | 1/3/2010 |
| Q: i'm 18 and i haven't come out to my friends. my friend is gay and has a girlfriend but i recently ... A: Congratulations on coming out, that's a big step. I understand how you feel liking someone who is ... | |
| help | 12/31/2009 |
| Q: im 18 and female and recently announced im bi and im very attracted to my best friend we kiss all ... A: It is great that you are exploring your attractions and being open about them. It sounds like your ... | |
| Need help coming out. | 12/22/2009 |
| Q: I am contacting you because I want to come out to my friends and family. Most of my friends know, ... A: Erin, I completely understand your situation. When I came out to myself and my husband I thought I ... | |
| Am I bi-sexual, straight or a lesbian | 12/19/2009 |
| Q: I am 20 years old female. I have never been in a relationship with a guy but in my teens I did end ... A: It sounds like you have a couple of things going on. The first one, your question about your sexual ... | |
| confused.. | 12/14/2009 |
| Q: I am a 25 year old female who has always been in relationships with men but always appreciated ... A: I understand what you are going through. I'm glad you are aware of and acknowledging your ... | |
| love | 12/13/2009 |
| Q: I have developed feelings for my closest friend ...sometimes i feel that vibe from her and that she ... A: It sounds like both you and your friend have a lot of questions in your minds. It also sounds like ... | |
| am i a lesbian? | 12/12/2009 |
| Q: I am 18 years old and have never even considered my sexual orientation and have simply always ... A: I understand what you are going through. I assumed I was straight growing up because that is how we ... | |
| does she like me | 12/3/2009 |
| Q: Ok so I'm 19 and the religion that I am apart of does not agree with being gay. So I try to hide my ... A: I know how hard that situation can be and I feel for you. On the one hand I believe that as gay ... | |
| What should I do? | 11/27/2009 |
| Q: I'm 17 years old and I live in Greece(so excuse my spelling errors). First of all you have to know ... A: I understand your frustration and the intensity of the emotions you are feeling. It is great that ... | |
| How do I deal with physical contact? | 11/25/2009 |
| Q: Just to fill you in, I'm 16-years-old, confused on my sexuality (closet lesbian/bi), and come from ... A: I think you have a good picture of the situation, and I'm glad you can separate out your sexuality ... | |
| long distance relationship | 11/15/2009 |
| Q: My girlfriend and I have been together for two years, and we love each other very much. Because of ... A: Wow, that's a tough situation. Long distance is hard to do, and a lot can happen while you're ... | |
| Im a lesbian but fantasize mostly about penis's | 11/14/2009 |
| Q: Im almost 40 and still some times a bit confused about my sexual desires. My question Is, is it ... A: I'm glad you are open about your attractions and are not limiting yourself. This kind of thing is ... | |
| Lesbian but dating a guy... | 11/8/2009 |
| Q: So basically I am only attracted to women and have only ever been with women but for the past year ... A: You'll be happy to know this kind of thing is pretty common, its just something we don't talk about ... | |
| New relationship anxiety | 11/3/2009 |
| Q: I come from a very religious background and within the past few months I have started coming out to ... A: Except this time you're really feeling the chemistry so its gonna be even more intense. I don't ... | |
| Girlfriend wants to be top | 11/1/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my girlfriend for 4 1/2 years and we are getting married on our 5th anniversary ... A: You are smart to want to resolve these issues before getting married. Without knowing either of you ... | |
| How to find myself? | 10/30/2009 |
| Q: My name is danny and Im struggling to find out whether I truly am bisexual and how to attract a ... A: Danny, It sounds like you have a lot going on in your head and heart, but its definitely all normal ... | |
| attracted to a friend | 10/29/2009 |
| Q: Back in college I was surprised to find myself having feelings of love for my roommate, I had never ... A: The simple answer is no, you are not crazy. And I'm impressed with the maturity and openness you ... | |
| I think my lesbian friend likes me | 10/27/2009 |
| Q: I strongly suspect that my friend, Justina*, is a lesbian. Her mom thinks that she is and she never ... A: I believe in open, honest conversations, and it sounds like you should have one with Justina. It ... | |
| i'm married and so is she | 10/20/2009 |
| Q: It's hard to know where to start. I married my husband a few years ago, I love him very much and we ... A: It sounds like you have a lot of things going on. I understand how overwhelming that can be. ... | |
Answers by Expert:
Coco M Davis
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
If you are questioning your sexuality and need an anonymous safe place to ask anything about coming out or same-sex experiences, then talk to me. I know when I was coming out I wanted to ask everything from how do I tell my spouse, to how do I ask a woman out. I understand that in some circumstances it can be difficult or impossible to safely ask those questions and anonymous online resources can be invaluable. Areas that really interest me are people with religious backgrounds, people in heterosexual marriages, sexual fluidity, labels and how we use them, but I am open to questions of all kinds. **If your question is about sexual identity, ie "am I a lesbian?" check out some of my previous responses. This is the most common question I get and I believe we don't need labels because sexuality is fluid. You may find all the info you need in those answers.**
Experience
I grew up in a conservative Christian home where being straight was the only option ever presented to me. As a result I got married and spent 7 years in a long-term relationship with a man before finally coming out to myself. I came out to my spouse, made several efforts to maintain our marriage but finally got divorced. I managed to preserve my friendship with him, but alienated my family when I came out to them. I have built a strong support group of friends in the LGBTQ community and love talking with them about the wide variety of issues we face, as well as the intricacies of loving women.
Education/Credentials
BA, UC Irvine
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