Expert: Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach - 1/5/2009

Question
Hello,

I am a 22-year-old recent college grad wit a PR degree and I feel like I’m losing the battle of life and I
haven’t even started yet. I feel like crying as I type this.

So here’s the problem. I want to be successful, I want to be wealthy and have a better life for myself but
I feel like I’m short changing myself and I don’t know why or where to get the resources to fix it.

For starters: my career. In my mind, my career is what is going to get me the money to live a better life
and do all the things I long to do. I watch all these superficial shows like The Hills and Real Housewives
but only because I want that lifestyle and it motivates me to have it. But on the career end nothing is
coming. I have a job but it doesn’t pay well AT ALL considering I have a degree and a LOT of bills. I’m
too broke and depressed about money that I can even began networking and meeting people that can
help me get that first REAL job. I work but I’ve been looking for another job and that seems hopeless
because its clear from my resume that I’m under qualified for most starter PR positions (like the Account
Exec,) and there aren’t any real entry level jobs because no one wants to pay for the learning curve. They
want 3-5 years experience off top. I beat myself up every time I apply for jobs because I didn’t do an
internship at an agency. I did one with a non-profit org and that was worthless. Then, my boss told me
today that I need to be more aggressive and ask more questions and it’s not like I don’t want to work
hard I just haven’t been given the opportunity yet. My boss at my internship told me the same thing:
“ask more questions” “take the initiative”. So I get it but I still don’t have the motivation to do it or know
that to do. I feel like everything with me is too little or too late. Because my boss told me to ask
questions now it’s too late to ask questions and there goes my promotion.

My problem, I think, boils down to me being more professional. My friends go to really great colleges
like Northwestern and they speak so well and know all these big words and political information and I
feel like I’m so sub par compared to them. And I just know I’m competing for jobs with people like them
for positions where I am expected to perform with same level of intelligence and professionalism. Don’t
get me wrong, I’m professional and I’m smart  ( I finished college with a 3.1)  but I just know I am
lacking a lot ( in comparison to my smart peers and based on feedback) and I need  help stepping my
game up. Is there a book or site or anything or anyone you can direct me to help me get the RIGHT kind
of motivation? I’m in a financial crisis struggling to make sure I have a roof over my head and food on
my plate while at the same time needing to be more aggressive and professional so I can succeed in life
but I don’t know how to start or where to get the motivation. Please help!!  

Answer
Dear Krystle,

This isn't uncommon at your age, and will get worse the the economy and rising unemploymet.  One thing that would be good for you is some extended coaching, because there are a lot of things you need to learn more about.

In the meantime - how to be more professional?  Well you are learning.  Colleg teaches you important things, mostly through books.  NOw you have to do what's called "experiential" learning - learning through experience.  If you think someone else does it better, observe what they do and how theydo it.  The first job is really hard because it is the first one.  Don't compare yourself with others, just keep learning things and getting better yourself. You have to get in there and compete with everyone else.

Here's a little story.  Ac acquintenance of mine worked for the railroad all his life.  He never had a chance for college.  He decided he wanted to learn how to play chess, so he went to a rec. center where there were chess players.  He played with the best ones he could find.  He said for the first year he lost every game but he was learning.  He said by the second year he was winning some games.  By the third year, he could beat some of the best ones.  He didn't sit there and say "I can't do it," and he didn't let his ego get down when he did lose.  He kept faith in himself and kept learning.

Stay in there and keep learning.  If you want coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

All the best,
Susan