AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
Question My father has had copd for over 20 years he is going through the end stages right now. The doctors are saying maybe three months. My mom and I have decided not to tell him that he may have only 3 months because he might use that has a way to give up. What to you think.
Answer Hi Dale and thanks for writing,
If you’re asking me if I agree with the “3 months” prognosis, I really couldn’t comment as I am not familiar with your father’s specific medical history, but COPD is a progressive disease which usually follows pretty standard steps and the physician is most likely right.
If you’re asking me if I agree with not telling him, that really depends on what would be best for your Dad. If he would not benefit in any way from the prognosis and it might even cause his quality of life to deteriorate then I would agree that you don’t need to tell him.
It’s an ethical can of worms, but I can only share my personal opinion. Some would argue it’s his health and his right to know (assuming he is cognitively competent), but I don’t feel all people do well with too much information. You should do what he asks (if he has ever told anyone his wishes in regards to sharing knowledge about his health) and follow your heart and do what will promote his physical and mental comfort.
I hope this helps a bit, wishing you all the best,
Margot
