AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
Question Dear Margot,
I am so relived that I have found this site. My mother is 96 and was hospitalized with bronchitis and an bladder infection. She was in independent care until this. She is now in the recovery unit at the nursing home. They said that she has "Failure to thrive" and yet they continue to push her to physical therapy. She won't eat, doesn't want to eat but will drink. I think that she would be better in a hospice. She still has the bronchitis, wants to sleep all of the time, has no control of her bladder or bowels. What can I do? What would be best for her? The family does not live near by and we are so distraught. Can the Dr. validate that she is dying so we can move her to a hospice?
Sincerely,
Sue Nilsen
Answer Hi Sue and thanks for writing,
My first question is "what does your Mother want"? Can she not be consulted and participate in the decision making process? Has she never signed a Living Will or Advanced Directives - at 96 I would wonder how this topic was never discussed with her when she could indicate and put in writing what she'd want as her wishes should be the main guiding force behind all healthcare treatment decisions.
In lieu of her expressed desire, then its up to the family to decide what's best and if you feel the treatment she's currently being subjected to is cruel then step up and ask them to hold off for now, if she continues to weaken then she may be appropriate for hospice, but only if she's prognosed to have less than three months to live.
