AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
Question Mom was an 84 year old active lady up until 6-7 weeks ago She started complaining of pain in the hip. Four weeks ago she fell and broke her hip with hip replacement. She was started in rehab, but had what the doctors called a "cardiac episode" with normal EKGs. After a CAT scan of the chest to look for a blood clot the following was found instead: lung, bone and liver cancer. A full body bone scan revealed that she has 80% of her bones are cancer involved.
She is now having UTI with urine retension (up to 200 ml), weight loss of 15 pounds, everything "tastes nasty" and is having some really bizzare dreams. She is semi bed ridden, but has progressed with PT to the point that she can get out of bed and sit in a wheelchair or bedside chair with minimal assistance. We would like to bring her home for her last days/months.
My questions are:
Given her recent changes listed above how long does she have?
My husband and I both work 40+ hours a week and wondered if there was an agency we could contact for help with her care while we are at work?
What are the signs/symptoms we can watch for which will tell us when she has reached her last few days of life?
Thanks for your help the last 7 weeks have been hell for us and we feel like we are on a non-stop merry-go-round.
Cindy
Answer Hi Cindy and thanks for writing,
It will certainly be a lot of work and a full-time commitment, but I believe the time is irreplaceable and you’ll never regret caring for your Mom during her final months – it’s the best thing I ever did and I’d do it again in a minute (sometimes I even wish I could turn back the clock and relive that year).
The most important thing is to enjoy each day that she feels well, and to prepare for the days she doesn’t. Bone cancer can cause a fair amount of pain which can make anyone feel pretty crummy so you’ll want to discuss treatment plans with her healthcare team now and be sure you stay in top of it and prevent discomfort before it becomes intolerable. The great news is that there are many, many pain medication options available today so no one should be left to suffer needless pain.
Obviously her fluctuations in health will dictate your days; some days she may be up to getting up and carrying out the daily routines, and others she will not and may rest most of the day. As the weeks pass she will grow weaker and have less and less tolerance for activities of daily living; she will likely loss weight as she eats less and she will rest more each day.
I don’t want to scare you with all the possibilities but suggest you write again as her health declines and I can address specific questions you may have. My other advise for now is to ensure you are aware of and take advantage of all the services available in your area – get assessed by the government health authority and see what supports and services are available through the Palliative Care Program. Familiarise yourself with the local pharmacies and medical equipment supply stores as you will require some equipment in the house as your Mom gets weaker so you may want to price hospital bed rentals now and find out if you can get some equipment on loan from The Red Cross etc …
There are private nursing agencies which can provide support in the home; you may start with a few hours of Nurse’s Aide when you’re both at work and add more care, maybe even Registered Nurses towards the end if that’ll make you more comfortable.
Please do write again whenever you have any questions.
