Expert: Margot RN BScN CGN - 6/4/2006

Question
Followup:

Have discussed with boss. Company policy does not recognize friendship for flexibility or leave. Do have choice. Job or friend!

Am in process of contacting CEO of health care facility. Members of nursing staff ARE problem. Sadly family doesn't care. I do; but not my choice to place him there.

Must keep job-issues with hospital won't be resolved in time. Bob is near death.

Can't fight Corporate America. Might save a future friend from facing same situation at  health care facility.  

Thanks;

Sharon   


Followup To

Question -
My best friend Bob is dying and I have known him for over 27 years. He is the most important person in my life but is not a family member. Our society does not recognize friends as being important when someone is dying.  
 
My workplace will not give the time I need from my job to be with him because he isn't a family member or a spouse.

The hospital and nursing staff causes me grief when I try to visit him because I am not a family member.

I even notice that all of the experts listed  here are geared towards families and family members.

What do you do when the most important person in your life is a friend and not a family member and you need support and time from your job; and to be allowed to visit your friend when at the health care facility (hospital)?   

Sharon


Answer -
Hi Sharon and thanks for writing,

For the hospital I would ask Bob's family to speak to the Nurses on the unit and even put a note in his chart that your are family to Bob as you are his closest friend. Personally I can't believe you're being treated that way, it must be a very backwards hospital.

As for work, you need to speak to your boss and explain your career is important but so is your firendship with Bob and talk about arranging a Leave of Absence or flexible hours so you can be with him and not have to call in sick or get terminated for missing too much work.

I hope this helps,

Margot

Answer
Good luck with the higher ups at the hospital, it's a crime you have to go to such lengths to be with your friend.

Bob knows you were a good friend and he is most likely semi-conscious if he's close to death, perhaps you could send him flowers and a card telling him that you're with him in spirit even when you can't be there, perhaps you can call him on the phone from home too.

Sorry I don't have any better suggestions for you at this difficult time.

Margot