AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
My sister was told she has lung cancer (age 41), the doctors had been watching her lung for 2year. Watch and see is what they called it. Then finally they were able to do a pet scan on her and found a mass in her pelvic area and it was also cancer. What reason do they wait to do pet scan until you have cancer?
Why did the doctors not give her a full exam?
she had told them her hip hurt and could hardly walk in the morning but never a pap or pelvic exam was done.
My sister is very angry and she is pushing people away. How do I stay? What she says is really mean. I told her your are fighting a monster do not become one. I have been there for every appt. and I'm planning a benifit I live 100 miles away and I go back and forth daily, I cant walk away I asked her to go to the support group I would stay a go with her. The answer is no, she doesn't believe in god. I lost my husband a few years ago and I started to write and told her how it helped, she told me she is not going to write how she feel what for. What can I do for her?
Answer Hi Teresa and thanks for writing,
Your sister is going through the normal 5 stages of grieving: (1) denial, (2) bargaining, (3) anger, (4) despair, (5) acceptance; she may be in stage 3 right now.
If she does not respond to your suggestions, try asking her what she'd like, ask her "I love you and want to support you, please tell me how I can support you right now". If she pushes you away right now, don't be hurt, just recognize she's still sorting out her own emotions. Don't push beyond the boundaries she sets, but stay in touch and let her know you're always there for her.
I know how painful this can be, but she will come around and want & need you again in her future battle with her Cancer.
