AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
Question Hello-
I am hoping that you can help me. My mother, who is 84, has COPD and dementia. She lived next door to me for three years and now lives with me.
My question is this---she sleeps almost 20 out of 24 hours. She still uses the bathroom, feeds herself and can speak. Is there something wrong with her, or do elderly people sleep a lot? She seems to be "shutting down". She eats very little, enjoys no activities, except taking care of her cats, and seems to be in a fog most of the time. Her doctor has done many tests on her and finds no reason for her to sleep. She is on an anti-depressant.
Personally, I feel that she has no real will to live and is slowy letting her senses become non-existant. I am not sure if I should pursue more medical treatment or let her slowly deteriorate. From what I have read older people sleep less, not more.
Thank you for any insight you can give me.
Answer Hi Pat and thanks for writing,
It is a difficult decision when to be agressive and when to back off with seniors. If the doctor has done "lots of tests" and can't find any obvious or easily treated cause for the lethargy, then I would guess your Mother is either losing interest in life, or just getting frail, or a mixture of both.
If her blood work is normal, and she's on a therapeutic dose of Antidepressants, then her wishes should be respected. Have you ever just sat down and asked her how she is and what, if any, treatment she wants.
COPD does certainly drain people of energy, and Oxygen can only do so much - she may just be exahusted by her age and the degenerative condition. Talk to her if you can and make decisions together.
I hope this helps and I wish you both all the best,
