AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
Question My mom passd away in April. I wanted her to be intraveneouly fed and given water but they refused. She had an aortic abdominal anuryseum. We were told dhe had minutes to live but she lived for 5 days. At first she talked and seemed good until they started to give her the morphine then she just didnt respond do you think they can here you and do they know what is happening at this point? Also her breathing was very hard and white stuff came out of her mouth the last day. Was she aware she couldnt breathe and was dying? Why did she suffer like this? i really need answers and i want the truth did she die from the tear not rupture she had or did she sie from dehydration? thanks for your help
Answer Hi Georgia and thanks for writing,
I'm sorry to hear about your Mother's passing.
Obviously I can not guess without being familiar with her case, but I can give your some general information which I hope helps.
We do believe that hearing is the last sense to go and people can hear sounds until the end and human voices are very comforting.
I can not say exactly why your Mom died, but I don't know why the hospital would not tell the truth so I assume she must have had an unrepairable AAA.
It is normal to give Morphine for comfort for terminally ill patients, and difficulty breathing is also a normal part of the dying process as the body shuts down and can be very difficult to watch when it's someone we love. It's also normal practice not to hydrate dying patients as it can prolong things and it can also put unnecessary stress on the heart (which we do not want to do with a AAA).
As our body shuts down the chemicals in our system get out of whack and this causes disorientation and progressive sleeping - I do not believe people are "aware" at this point of what's going on (ie: they are dying), and I honestly believe they're simply in a sleep-like state. I know it can look like the body is struggling, but I do not believe the patient feels stressed as they are usually coma-like at this point. I have held many people's hands as they pass on, and when they do wake, I do not see stress or panic, I usually see peace in their eyes, even if their physical body appears to be struggling.
I hope this helps answer your question. Please hang on to your memories with your Mother and don't stress yourself asking the "what ifs" now (although this is not uncommon when we lose someone we love).
