AboutMargot RN BScN CGN Expertise I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.
Experience
Past/Present clients Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).
Question My gran is 89 and along with my grandfather were moved in to a private nursing home a year ago.
Since then she has gone down hill dramatically, and recently fell and broke her hip, she came back from that really well,even a small bout of pneumonia. But since then she can not walk and seems unwilling to even with help. Past few months taken to bed and has started to refuse food or drink, she is sometimes confused and asks for dead people like her parents. she has a drip for fluids but nothing for the food she just refuses and seems to sleep most of the time. nobody has actually said she is dying all they say is that she's not looking good. I want to prepare myself if she is going to pass away.I had a feeling it was depression as I've read it can affect elderly after a move in to nursing care, and if it was that something could be done. Thank you for taking the time to read this and any advice would be most grateful.
Gill Gibb
Answer Hi Gill and thanks for writing,
Obviously I am not familiar with your Gran's exact medical history, but from what you've written I would say she is shutting down and most likely will pass on in the not too distant future.
It may or may not be depression, and you could speak to her doctor about trying an AntiDepressant, it can't hurt if she's still taking her meds.
I don't know if you can speak to your Gran, or if someone in the family can, but you might want to ask her what she wants. At 89 she may just be ready to pass on without being depressed, perhaps she has other medical conditions affecting her quality of life - she could have chronic pain from the hip fracture, or she could have a disease your'e not aware of (possibly Congestive Heart Failure or Cancer or something else).
I know it's always hard to lose anyone we love, but 89 is a good age and maybe your Gran does not want heroic measures at this point in her life. If possible, talk to her and find out what she wants and respect her wishes (as long as it's not a clinical depression talking).
I hope this helps answer your question - all my best,
