Life Support Issues - Death and Dying - Health/Fitness

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About Margot RN BScN CGN
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I nursed my own Mother and Grandmother at home when they were dying so I have personal experience with the emotions involved. I have also spent the last 15+ years as a Registered Nurse caring for The Elderly and Terminally Ill and it has brought me great satisfaction. I am willing to answer any questions I can.

Experience

Past/Present clients
Hundreds of Long Term Care Residents as well as hundreds of Cleitns and families in the community (including my Mother and Grandmother).

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Questions Answered By Expert Margot RN BScN CGN
In Category Life Support Issues

Subject	Date Asked

COPD and Nursing Home	11/10/2009
Q: my mom has had COPD for over 6 yrs now. she is currently in the hospital with her most recent bout ... A: As you are well aware, COPD is a long, progressive disease so your Mom likely has many years ahead ...
lifesupportformother	11/9/2009
Q: my mother three months ago was in mild to moderate stage of alzeimers. My father had caretakers with ... A: I apologize for my tardy response, I was not well myself this past week. I am so very sorry to read ...
death	10/28/2009
Q: My 92 year old grandmother is full of cancer. Right now she is in a hospice home. She hasn't ... A: I am sorry to read about your Grandmother. Generally someone in hospice has been assessed to have ...
My Grandmother	10/26/2009
Q: My Grandmother is now 95 1/2 and has lived a wonderful full life. She is still living at home and ... A: It sounds like your Grandmother is showing signs of slowing down and that's what the nurses and your ...
Bone Cancer	10/19/2009
Q: My Aunt was diagnosed with Breast Cancer 10 years ago - went thru Chemo %26 radiation %26 had a ... A: You’re right that no one can guess “how long”, really her oncologist would be the best person to ...
metastatic colon cancer	10/12/2009
Q: I have a boyfriend of 10 years. Eight of which we lived together. He was diagnosed in 2006 with ... A: I am so sorry to read about your ordeal, how very sad for both of you! “End of life” care is ...
My father dealing with Prostate cancer	10/4/2009
Q: My father is 70 years old in Alabama and I am in Virginia. For the last couple of years my father ... A: My advice is to go now if it's important for you to say "goodbye" so you'll feel you did what you ...
advice	9/3/2009
Q: my gran is in her ninetys, she has lung cancer and water in the lungs, doctors have prepared her for ... A: It will certainly be a lot of work and a full-time commitment, but I believe the time is ...
COPD End stages	9/2/2009
Q: My mom is 70 years old and has COPD. She was a smoker for 55 years but quit "cold turkey" in January ... A: It sounds like your mother is having Delusions or Hallucinations, and these can caused by many ...
COPD	8/27/2009
Q: My mother has had COPD for years now. She has been getting progressively worse, and she doesn't do ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your Mom follows, but I can tell you how an average ...
copd end of life	8/16/2009
Q: My Mom has been living with copd for about 16 years, she is bedridden now and mostly not responsive. ... A: I'm sorry to read about your Mom, COPD can be a very frightening disease for those that have and for ...
CHF, Grandmother	8/9/2009
Q: Today my grandmother spent her 93rd Bday in the hospital with CHF. She went in on July 4 for ... A: I’m sorry to hear about your Grandmother’s condition, this must be very difficult for you to watch. ...
My Dying father and my brother who doesn't want to let go	7/7/2009
Q: My brother has involved me these past six months since my father has been so critically ill--- My ... A: It sounds like your brother is in denial and hoping for a miracle. I suggest rather tan trying to ...
hearing voices when terminally ill	6/28/2009
Q: I am caring for my grandfather who is terminally ill. the last week has been a bad one and i feel he ... A: I am sorry to read about your Grandfather's illness, he is lucky to have you there with him. ...
CHF Patient with Pacemaker	6/25/2009
Q: My mother is 91 years old and has had CHF for the last 10 years. She had her second pace maker ... A: I'm a nurse and I used to wonder this myself. Basically a pacemaker just sends a signal to the ...
stages of COPD	6/24/2009
Q: I was told by a patient suffering from COPD that there are "steps" of the COPD disease. Once you go ... A: I'm afraid COPD is a progressive disease which continually declines; there may be some fluctuations, ...
Artificial nutrition at end of life	6/19/2009
Q: When near end of life with alzheimer's disease and refusing food and drink, is it best to let death ... A: I am sorry but I really cannot guess how long your mother may last in her current condition - I have ...
Late-Stage Alzheimer's Symptoms	6/19/2009
Q: I am the caregiver for my mother who has had alzheimer's disease for at least 12 years. She is on ... A: I am sorry but I really cannot guess how long your mother may last in her current condition - I have ...
Stage 4 lung cancer w/mets to liver, kidney & Bone	6/15/2009
Q: Mom was an 84 year old active lady up until 6-7 weeks ago She started complaining of pain in the ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
Stage 4 lung cancer w/mets to liver, kidney & Bone	6/14/2009
Q: Mom was an 84 year old active lady up until 6-7 weeks ago She started complaining of pain in the ... A: It will certainly be a lot of work and a full-time commitment, but I believe the time is ...
Having a few second thoughts	6/9/2009
Q: I stumbled onto this site when I was doing some searching regarding my mom's recent death. She had ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mother’s recent passing but I do not think aggressive treatments like ...
ovarian cancer spread to liver	6/6/2009
Q: I have a 76 year old grandmother who has been battling ovarian cancer for almost 2 years. She has ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
COPD	6/4/2009
Q: my mum has had copd for a good few years now, she is 72yrs old, has home oxygen of which she is on 4 ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your Mom follows, but I can tell you how an average ...
lung cancer stage four	6/2/2009
Q: A close friend in our group has lung cancer stage four it has gone to the lymph nodes, and throat. ... A: I am sorry to read about your friend. Sometimes medical professionals do what they can and not ...
Pneumonia versus UTI	5/6/2009
Q: My father is in late stage Multiple Systems Atrophy (MSA) and is currently at home in a hospice ... A: The uses of antibiotics in palliative situations is often misunderstood. In my experience we do use ...
Breathing at the end of life	4/30/2009
Q: I am a professional caregiver 50-80 hrs/wk. My favorite client has a specific breathing pattern ... A: What you describe sounds like "Cheyne Stokes" which is an abnormal pattern of breathing, in which ...
Final Transition Time for 98-year-old Mother	4/4/2009
Q: My 98-year-old Mother had a stroke 4 weeks ago which left her partially paralized and bedridden. Up ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I cannot accurately guess “how ...
grandmother dying	3/2/2009
Q: my husbands grandmother was just recently put in a nursing home. my husband and i are confused about ... A: Obviously I am not familiar with the details, but from what you tell me it does sound like the home ...
SMALL CELL Lung Cancer -What happens at the end when death is eminant and hospice has been called	2/4/2009
Q: My best friend's Mom (she's my 2nd Mom) is right now dying from Small Cell Lung Cancer. She had ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your 2nd Mother follows, but I can tell you how an ...
peg feeding	2/1/2009
Q: could you please give some information on peg feeding as in my sister is the victim of a car ... A: It is really hard for me to guess why they are putting in a PEG tube, but from what you describe I ...
Concerned about 92 year old mother	1/18/2009
Q: My mother had a knee replacement recently and came through the surgery and p.t. quite well. She has ... A: I suggest trying frequent, small portions of her favourites foods (don’t worry about health at this ...
How do we actually die?	1/14/2009
Q: My almost 94 year old grandfather was diagnosed with metastatic liver and stomach cancer about 4 ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
bowel problems	1/10/2009
Q: My mom is 81 years of age and not mobile. she continues to be constipated. I had her change some ... A: Constipation is a common challenge with older adults and it helps to understand what it is to help ...
Quick question	1/4/2009
Q: I am a 49 year old indiviual. I am on disability for OCD. My question is this...I would like to make ... A: Advance Directives and Do Not Resuscitate Orders What is an advance directive? An advance directive ...
Dying with CHF	1/3/2009
Q: My 91 yr. old mother, whom lives with me, has had CHF for many years. She experiences extreme ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your Mother follows, but I can tell you how an ...
Please I need your help	12/29/2008
Q: My brother died from metastatic prostate terminal cancer when he was 68 years old almost three years ... A: I am SO sorry to hear about the horrific experience your family has been put through - she sounds ...
father with copd	11/14/2008
Q: My father has had copd for over 20 years he is going through the end stages right now. The doctors ... A: If you’re asking me if I agree with the “3 months” prognosis, I really couldn’t comment as I am not ...
My Grandmother has Cirrhosis of the Liver	9/22/2008
Q: My Grandmother is nearing 60 and got diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the Liver about a month ago. She ... A: I am so sorry to read about your Grandmother’s condition – she is obviously very ill and is close to ...
Failure to Thrive	9/9/2008
Q: I am so relived that I have found this site. My mother is 96 and was hospitalized with bronchitis ... A: My first question is "what does your Mother want"? Can she not be consulted and participate in the ...
HOME CARE VS. INPATIENT	9/3/2008
Q: MY DAD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PANCREATIC CANCER THIS PAST MARCH. WITHIN THE PAST MONTH HIS HEALTH HAS ... A: It will certainly be a lot of work and a full-time commitment, but I believe the time is ...
Cadaver Donation, specified institution	9/1/2008
Q: I have been part of The Harvard Nurses' Study since its inception. I'd like my cadaver to go for ... A: I would contact the medical school as they no doubt have forms they use for people who donate their ...
Morphine	8/19/2008
Q: I am caring for my wife who is under hospice care for 4 weeks. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung ... A: I think your wife has built up tolerance and her current medication regime is simply not working so ...
Mother is in end-stage COPD	8/12/2008
Q: My 84 yr. old mother has been diagnosed with end-stage COPD. She also has CHF. She is on oxygen ... A: It sounds to me like your Mother has prided herself on being an active and contributing member of ...
Lung Cancer	7/29/2008
Q: Mu 43 yr old husband was just recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I am totally lost and don't know ... A: I am sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis; the time after the diagnosis is a very scary ...
Dying	7/1/2008
Q: My mother tried to wake up my grandmother 3 weeks ago and she had passed. My mom seems to have ... A: Dementia is a slow, progressive disease and does not suddenly occur so I doubt your Mother has ...
Mother in-law dying	6/30/2008
Q: My mother in law is currently in a hospice with terminal cancer (colon metastasized to liver). When ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
rectal cancer	6/3/2008
Q: My 95 year old grandmother was just diagnosed with rectal cancer. They did a colonoscopy and found a ... A: Sandee I think you need to request a family Care Conference asap so you, and any other interested ...
kidney and respitory failure	6/3/2008
Q: My mom has been in the hospital for 2 months after a fall. She has emphazema, congestive heart ... A: I’m so sorry to hear about your Mother's poor health. The first thing you need to do is find out if ...
mom has end stage copd	5/31/2008
Q: my mom has had copd for the last 15 years. she was recently hospitalized and released into home ... A: As you are no doubt well aware, COPD is a progressive condition which slowly worsens year after year ...
Fathers Death	5/27/2008
Q: I have some unanswered questions that i was wondering if you could please answer, and if not, then ... A: I am sorry to read about your father’s passing; I know how painful it is to lose both parents at ...
Hospice	5/25/2008
Q: My mother has been a long time sufferrer of COPD & CHF. Recently, she has been haing more and more ... A: Generally “Palliative” patients are those who have been assessed to have less than three months to ...
kidney failure	4/25/2008
Q: thanks cathy A: This is a very difficult position for anyone to make but you have to base your decision on QUALITY ...
Grandfather - end stage renal failure	4/3/2008
Q: My grandfather is in palliative care for end stage renal failure. We were told it would be a fairly ... A: I am so sorry to hear about your Grandfather’s struggle and obvious discomfort. There should be no ...
86 y/o father failure to thrive, under hospice care	3/20/2008
Q: My father is 86 and is completely bedridden. He has NPH and emphysema; he also has had numerous ... A: I am sorry to hear about your Father's illness, I’m sure this is a very difficult time for you and ...
My Uncle	3/17/2008
Q: My dear uncle was diagnosed with COPD last January (07). He is 81. Thus followed two further ... A: Obviously I am not familiar with your uncle's case, but from what you wrote it does sound like ...
coping with your best friend having cancer	3/17/2008
Q: At her 21st birthday in November my best friend Becca was taken into hospital with a stiff arm. She ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis - cancer is difficult to deal with at any age, ...
mums death	3/7/2008
Q: My mum has recently passed away at 50 years of age from COPD. My emotions are up and down I fell ... A: I apologise for my delay in responding, computer challenges! Please do not feel guilty that you ...
COPD+end stage	3/7/2008
Q: My mother was diagnosed with COPD approx. 5 years ago, although, in retrospect we now think she had ... A: It sounds like you are all trying to do what is best for your Mother and have managed quite well so ...
Pancreatic cancer involving the liver	2/25/2008
Q: My Mum has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which has (metastasized?)to the liver. The ... A: It will certainly be a lot of work and a full-time commitment, but I believe the time is ...
COPD and Congestive Heart Failure	2/20/2008
Q: My mom (who is 82) has been diagnosed with severe COPD and CHF. She has recently been suffering ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your Mom follows, but I can tell you how an average ...
stage 4 melanoma	2/14/2008
Q: My father is suffering from stage 4 melanoma started under his toenail. The past 2 months he has ... A: I would guess that your Dad’s brain tumour is causing all the behaviours you have described; it is ...
last stages of death	2/14/2008
Q: I recently sat within two hours of his death. He was sleeping and breathly irregularly (on oxygen). ... A: Many people "see people" (or things or spirits or whatever) during their final days - this is not ...
Should she be fed?	2/12/2008
Q: My mum is 72 and has COPD. Recently she has been in hospital more than she has been out. On ... A: I do apologise for my tardy response, my Laptop froze on me and I had to get it repaired this week. ...
93 yr. old mother	1/26/2008
Q: my mother fell in may of 2007 and went to the hospital. They kept her for 10 days with a broken ... A: I'm sorry to read about your Mother's recent struggles, I hope I can answer your questions for you. ...
My Grandad-Mottling	1/22/2008
Q: My grandad is 70+ and hopitalized. Last night his feet were mottled and now his fingers are ... A: It sounds to me like your Granddad's body is shutting down and he will pass away in the near future. ...
how do you tell a 4 year old about death?	1/16/2008
Q: My grandfather, my daughter's great-grandfather or Pop-Pop as she calls him is in ICU right now and ... A: Talking To Children About Death Introduction If you are concerned about discussing death with your ...
Death Stages	1/15/2008
Q: My father is probably going to be passing away in the next 2-72 hours. At this time his breathing ... A: I'm sorryto read about your Dad's imminent passing, I hope it is peaceful. Below is an excerpt ...
Death and Dying	1/6/2008
Q: I am a non-medical caregiver for a 90 year old man who is actually in pretty good health, but I have ... A: I think your gentleman is simply showing his age, but I would not think his decreased activity ...
My gigi is 84	1/3/2008
Q: First I want to thank and bless you for helping people. My gram , gig is 84 she fell down the stairs ... A: I am sorry to read about your Gig [we called my Grandmother “Gog” (short for “goggles” a she wore ...
Need some help	1/1/2008
Q: My father is 66 yrs old and has been living with the diagnosis of copd for about 10 yrs. I live ... A: I am sorry to read about your Dad’s condition. It really is almost impossible to guess how long ...
COPD, not eating	12/29/2007
Q: My mom is 75 and has severe COPD. She is on O2 but still cannot walk across the room without ... A: I'm sorry to read bout your Mother's struggle with COPD, it is a very difficult and exhausting ...
Lymphoma lesions in the brain	12/28/2007
Q: My dad is 74. He was diagnosed with NHL b cell diffuse with follicular as well. He was diagnosed in ... A: I am very sorry to read about your Father’s condition. It is impossible not to second guess ...
sister at the end	12/19/2007
Q: my sister has stomach cancer and was diagnosed inmay this year with stage 4.... it was very ... A: She will gradually grow weaker, have less energy to do things, eat and drink less and sleep more and ...
sister at the end	12/16/2007
Q: my sister has stomach cancer and was diagnosed inmay this year with stage 4.... it was very ... A: I am so sorry to read about your sister's illness. Obviously I am generalizing and guessing here, ...
Dying From Liver Cancer	12/15/2007
Q: Your column has helped me more than you may know. My Dad, 84, has primary liver cancer related to ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's prognosis. I will try to share some brief details about what to ...
Symptoms of Death from COPD/CHF	12/9/2007
Q: The last time I saw my mother in the hospital before she died from COPD/CHF, she opened her mouth ... A: Yes I have seen what you describe to me many times. As our body shuts down we do produce secretions ...
death by starvation	12/8/2007
Q: My wife is in hospice care for congestive heart failure, She has stopped eating except for apple ... A: I am sorry to read about your wife's condition, I hope she has a peaceful passing when is happens. ...
metastic melanoma spread to liver	12/8/2007
Q: I was diagnosed with mm in 2003. It spread to my lymph nodes last year, and liver 5 months ago and ... A: I am not sure if you want a clinical review of symptoms as someone nears death, but if you do, ...
Mother wont eat	12/5/2007
Q: Is there any natural substance that will make her want to eat? Thank you A: Yes there are things that claim to enhance appetite. Here are just a few natural appetite ...
non-hodgkin's lymphoma	12/4/2007
Q: I will be involved with the care of my best friends mother who has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and has an ... A: There is no reason she can not be kept comfortably in her own home and cared for by you and your ...
husband's lung/bone cancer	12/4/2007
Q: My husband has had lung cancer for about a year now, and had chemotherapy, and now is taking a pill ... A: I am sorry to read about your husband's diagnosis. In my experience bloating is not a normal part of ...
C O P D	11/29/2007
Q: I have emphysema & COPD.I was diagnosed about 20 years ago on the emphysema & about 7 years ago with ... A: I am sorry to read about your condition, and I will share as much as I can.Please do not fear ...
Grandma	11/29/2007
Q: From what you have experienced, and possibly your faith, what do you believe the elderly feel when ... A: Personally I believe that our "soul" (or whatever you call it) actually leaves our physical body ...
occupational requirements	11/22/2007
Q: what are the qualifications for a geriatric nurse occupation A: Nursing schools require a high school diploma and a sound academic standing in high school English, ...
Renal death in dogs	11/14/2007
Q: I read you answer to a woman about her mother dying at home of renal failure. I don't know if it is ... A: I am sorry to hear about your dog - I am a dog lover too. The challenging thing about pets is they ...
dad dying of aggresive rare liver cancer	11/13/2007
Q: my dad was diagnosed 12mnths ago with bowel cancer and secondary liver cancer, they got all the ... A: I am so sorry to read about your Dad's illness. It is very difficult for anyone to guess over the ...
Lung and Liver Cancer	11/12/2007
Q: I have just been told today that my grandad (73) who just recently underwent a Triple Bypass ... A: I am sorry to read about your Grandad's diagnosis and poor prognosis. I am not familiar with the ...
dying from renal failure	11/5/2007
Q: My mom has been told she has renal failure. She is 80 years old and in poor health. She only has one ... A: You are correct, no one can guess but I can tell you that I would expect a frail 80 year old with ...
What to expect with sick elderly mom	11/3/2007
Q: Mom is 81, bedridden due to general weakness after a spinal fracture last year. She has a 2 pack a ... A: Believe it or not, she could go on for many years in her condition - I have seen it many times! ...
COPD last stages	10/31/2007
Q: My mother has been in hospice care since February of 2007 for COPD. She fell this last Sunday and ... A: Normally mottling is a sign of the final stages of death, but it can also occur in people with ...
Mother died of kidney cancer	10/30/2007
Q: My mother was found to have advanced kidney cancer. I was with her when she died. I read all the end ... A: I'm so very sorry to read about your Mother's experience, it must have been very disturbing for you ...
papa dying, close to the the end	10/17/2007
Q: he is now in Hospice in_house care. He is asking for the 2nd day now, if he can go home or when can ... A: Although we never want to lie to our loved ones, sometimes a small fib is the kindest thing to do. I ...
Non Hodgkins Lymphoma & Lung Cancer	10/10/2007
Q: My mother has non hodgkins lymphoma and lung cancer. (End Stage NHL) She is at home with my 85 year ... A: The most important thing to watch for is comfort - you want to make sure once your Mother can't move ...
My grandmother is dying	10/8/2007
Q: I know my 90 year old grandmother is dying, and have accepted that. Shje had a stroke in January ... A: This may sound like a cliche, but it is very difficult to estimate times frames as everyone has a ...
Re: Refusing home care help	9/30/2007
Q: My mother-in-law is at stage 4 cancer. She recently had radiation to relieve severe pain (palliative ... A: You have no choice really but to be honest and speak frankly with your MIL. Is there anyone else who ...
What to expect with stage IV prostate cancer when treatments have failed	9/28/2007
Q: My father is 74 years old, and was diagnosed with stage IV prostate cancer about 2 and a half years ... A: I apologise for my delay in responding but I had computer challenges. Below is an excerpt which I ...
prostate cancer	9/12/2007
Q: My father(46)diagnosed with prostate cancer in february this year stage IV where cancer spread to ... A: from what you have shared with me I'm sorry but I would guess that your Father will probably pass ...
kidney shut down - too much potassium	9/8/2007
Q: We were just informed that my 92 year old Grandma had very high levels of potassium and her kidneys ... A: Hyperkalemia is a potentially life-threatening illness that can be difficult to diagnose because of ...
death and dying	9/2/2007
Q: My father has stage 4 cancer, glioblastama multiforme, and I was just wondering what type of ... A: The median survival time from the time of diagnosis without any treatment is 3 months. Increasing ...
My best friend has cancer.	8/22/2007
Q: I received a phone call late last night from my best friend. She was en route to the ER again -- she ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your friends' traumatic diagnosis and poor prognosis. It always seems so ...
death and dying	8/21/2007
Q: My daughter turned three this past May. Back in January of this year we suddenly lost our ... A: I have speant my career workign with seniors so i had to do a little reasearch into loss and ...
Dad dying of Prostate Cancer	8/18/2007
Q: My father(64) has only recently come to live with me in South Africa due to the instability in ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your father's prognosis. I will try to share some brief details about what ...
my husband is now with hospice	8/16/2007
Q: We found out June my husband is in end stage liver failure,july the doctor signed us up with ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your husband's prognosis. I will try to share some brief details about what ...
Death and needing to vent	8/14/2007
Q: Over the last four years I have had 3 family members who have been diagnosed with Cancer. In 2003: ... A: Please feel free to vent any time - it can be very over-whelming when life hands us so many losses ...
life support removal	8/13/2007
Q: my wife recently passed away after removing the life support system. my question is when they ... A: What you witnessed was most likely just a reflex reaction and not an indication of awareness. We ...
Liver Failure / Cirrhosis	8/9/2007
Q: My 46 year old brother is in end stage liver failure due to cirrhosis. My mother has brought him to ... A: Obviously I am not familiar with your brothers' medical history, although you did provide a lot of ...
father dying?	8/7/2007
Q: My Dad has advanced melanoma. It is in his lungs, liver and brain. He was in a clinical trial but he ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
father dying?	8/5/2007
Q: My Dad has advanced melanoma. It is in his lungs, liver and brain. He was in a clinical trial but he ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's condition. Obviously no one can guess over the Internet with ...
how to support my Dad, now that my mother has died	7/23/2007
Q: My mother died last week. She had been ill but we did not know how ill. My parents and I live about ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mother's passing. It's hard for me to recommend the best way to ...
geriatric nursing career	7/18/2007
Q: I really love the elderly population and have considered becoming a nurse at a nursing home. What ... A: LPNs, or Licensed Vocational Nurses (LVNs), as they are called in Texas and California, care for the ...
father has cancer of liver	5/14/2007
Q: my dad was a fit and active 72 year old until he complained of a stomach pain and loss of appetite ... A: I am very sorry to hear about your Dad's sudden illness. Below is an excerpt which I think should ...
Metastatic sinonasal melanoma	4/30/2007
Q: My mother was diagnosed with inoperable sinonasal melanoma in February, 2006. The primary site is in ... A: I'm very sorry to hear about your Mother's illness. Can you not talk to her physician, I can not ...
my mother has stopped eating	4/27/2007
Q: My mother is 88, "recovering" from urosepsis, still hospitalized, and is terminal with cancer. She ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother's illness. It's really impossible for me to guess how long ...
colon cancer	4/16/2007
Q: my dad is 60yrs he has colon cancer secondary liver cancer and it is also in his lymph nodes outside ... A: I'm sorry to read about your Dad. Yes it is very hard to guess at a prognosis as I know so little ...
renal failure and death	4/15/2007
Q: My mother's kidneys shut down in mid October. Besides the kidney problem she has severe pain from ... A: I'm sorry to read about your Mother. Dying from kidney failure is usually a peaceful death as most ...
Jaundice after surgery	3/14/2007
Q: My grandfather had his bladder removed because of cancer last monday. He was sedated because he was ... A: Obviously I'm not familiar with your Grandfather's medical history, but I see no reason why the ...
brother's terminal illness	1/16/2007
Q: I have a 22 year old brother with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He has been in and out of the ... A: I'm sorry to read about your brother, this is obviously a very stressful time for your family. I ...
Brain death	1/14/2007
Q: but I think you misunderstood my question -- I don't need a method to feign death and then be ... A: Oh,okay, Well, it would be very hard to do, even for a doctor. I guess one way to do it would be to ...
Cause of death	12/25/2006
Q: What are the usual reasons a person dies from a stroke suffered over a year ago? I watched my ... A: I'm sorry but I really can't guess as to the cause of your brothers death as I am not familiar with ...
does jaundice mean the end is near	12/11/2006
Q: My husband and I are wondering how much longer his mother will suffer. Right now she is in stage ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
Eye color at death	12/8/2006
Q: At my mother's death, her eyes changed to this indescribable color? Is this normal? If so, how/why ... A: Eyes can go a milky color near/after death; I have seen this many times - it is not uncommon but I ...
what can I expect	12/4/2006
Q: My 15 year old nephew is dying of cancer (osteosarcoma). He was diagnosed 2 years ago; went thru ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew. Obviously I am not familiar with his medical case, but from ...
Friend with Cancer	12/1/2006
Q: I have a friend who about 9 weeks ago had a glossectomy and a lareyngectomy due to the return of ... A: It's really hard for me to say as I am not familiar with the case but I would imagine if he is ...
non hodgkins lymphoma LTV III	11/29/2006
Q: I am going to ask you a question about my sister who has this disease and lives with me. It is very ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your sister, she sounds like a brave lady. Obviously I am not familiar ...
father dying from nonhodgkins lymphoma	11/24/2006
Q: I am going through a difficult time. My father has almost past away 3 times since feb.25 2006. He ... A: I am very sorry to read about your father's struggle - it must be very difficult to watch. We ...
COPD	11/24/2006
Q: My mother had to be put on life support due to her COPD. It was prayers and the grace of God she ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your Mom follows, but I can tell you how an average ...
end-stage lymphoma	11/22/2006
Q: Margot, My father-in-law had a cancerous tumor removed from the lower right cerebellum of the brain ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you the ...
Is my grandmother dying?	10/15/2006
Q: My gran is 89 and along with my grandfather were moved in to a private nursing home a year ago. ... A: Obviously I am not familiar with your Gran's exact medical history, but from what you've written I ...
new york stage 4	10/13/2006
Q: My mother has been ill for a long time (years of health problems). They have begun to really take a ... A: Stage 4 generally refers to a cancer that has spread to another organ (ie: Breat Ca that has spread ...
Mother's fear of dying...	10/12/2006
Q: As of now I have moved into my parents home to take care of my mother in her last few months. She is ... A: Has your Mother actually expressed a fear of dying? Is she religious? Is there a Church leader she ...
My Mother has dementia	10/11/2006
Q: I believe that my 82 year old mother has dementia, I have been caring for her now off and on for ... A: I'll try to answer your questions to the best of my ability. First of all, yes it is normal for ...
How do I know if my grandparents are dying?	10/5/2006
Q: It's a bad situation in my mother's family right now. It seems both my grandparents (her parents) ... A: It sounds to me like your Grandma may be slipping away, but your Grandpa sounds like he had a small, ...
Stage 4 DLC Lymphoma	10/4/2006
Q: My mother-in-law is in pallative care at my home. She has stage 4 DLCL and has been given 3 months ... A: Swelling alone is not a clear indication that her system is starting to shut down, but it may ...
Last stage of death	10/2/2006
Q: My 84-year old father recently passed away. He had dementia but his little body just wore out, ... A: As our body shuts down the chemicals in our system get out of whack and this causes disorientation ...
breathing at the end	10/1/2006
Q: My mom passd away in April. I wanted her to be intraveneouly fed and given water but they refused. ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mother's passing. Obviously I can not guess without being familiar ...
dying	9/30/2006
Q: I was present when both my parents died. My dad was in the hospital, with an IV, and was given ... A: It's a valid question, but no, the route does not affect the medication, it only speeds or slows the ...
liver failure related to metastatic melanoma	9/28/2006
Q: Two years ago she was diagnosed with malignant melanoma which has spread to liver,lung, bone and ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, her condition sounds very similar to my own Mom's battle with Ca ...
Liver Cancer Death	9/16/2006
Q: I'm not sure this is the right place to ask these questions so please forgive me if it's not. I lost ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your loss and I hope I can answer your questions. Of course I can not be ...
Large cell carcinoma (lung cancer)	9/14/2006
Q: My sister was told she has lung cancer (age 41), the doctors had been watching her lung for 2year. ... A: Your sister is going through the normal 5 stages of grieving: (1) denial, (2) bargaining, (3) ...
friend dying of cancer	9/6/2006
Q: I have a good friend and former coworker, 52 years old, who has been battling leukemia (AML) for the ... A: I can not imagine why any doctor would put a terminaly ill patient on any kind of life support?! The ...
COPD	8/30/2006
Q: My husband was diagnosed with copd in July of 2005. He was hospitalized 8/10/2006 with extreme ... A: Your husband has two diseases that have similar symptoms which can be confusing. Obviously COPD ...
dying process of Parkinson patient	8/20/2006
Q: My daddy is 74 and was diagnoised with Parkinson's disease when he was in his forty's. He is now ... A: I apologise for my delay in responding but I had to leave the country unexpected for a urgent family ...
mother has lung cancer	6/25/2006
Q: My mother is 78 yrs. old with heart problems (pacemaker), stroke, emphysema and 50% of right lung ... A: This is a delicate decision that should be made by the family together so everyone is comfortable ...
kidney failure	6/23/2006
Q: I have just learned that my brother who has a rare form of liver cancer and is in the hospital, is ... A: There are so many factors that affect prognosi (health history, age, disease process, complications, ...
Renal Failure and death	6/19/2006
Q: My brother-in-law is 30 years old. He has been on life support for 2 weeks with ARDS. His liver is ... A: Each person's death is different, most people with the symptoms you described will pass away within ...
Dying from oral cancer	6/18/2006
Q: After nearly 98 years of relatively good health, my father-in-law is now suffering from a stage III ... A: Oral Cancer can be quite painful depending on the exact tumor size and location. Your FIL should not ...
Hospice	6/17/2006
Q: who is now in the late stages of dimentia and emphazemia. Your answer was so helpful. I am once ... A: "Hospice" is a term used to refer for care for the terminally ill, this an be nursing care in the ...
My Best Friend is Dying	6/4/2006
Q: Followup: Have discussed with boss. Company policy does not recognize friendship for flexibility ... A: Good luck with the higher ups at the hospital, it's a crime you have to go to such lengths to be ...
My Best Friend is Dying	6/3/2006
Q: My best friend Bob is dying and I have known him for over 27 years. He is the most important person ... A: For the hospital I would ask Bob's family to speak to the Nurses on the unit and even put a note in ...
What to expect	6/1/2006
Q: My Dad, 86 yrs old, is under my care and living with our family. He has mild Parkinson's and cronic ... A: I am very concerned about your Dad'scondition, especially the ack of BMs - this needs to be assessed ...
Supporting a friend with terminal cancer	5/31/2006
Q: I am sure my question/problem is not unique but it is new for me and I am so lost. I am a male and ... A: You sound like a caring and supportive friend who is struggling to support a friend going through an ...
Stage IV Agressive Non-Hodgkins	5/28/2006
Q: In November 2005 my mother (63) was diagnosed with Stage IV Agressive Non-Hodgkins. Her abdomen is ... A: Below is an excerpt which I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish you ...
Bedridden, dementia mother won't eat	5/27/2006
Q: I have my 86 year old mother living with me now and she is completely bedridden since breaking her ... A: You obviously love your Mother very much and are willing to do anything to keep her comfortable and ...
Alzheimers, dying and bowel problems	5/25/2006
Q: I ve been taking care of my mother at home now for several years. She has alzheimers and is in the ... A: I tend to agree with you that your Mother is constipated as happens to the majority of immobile ...
dying	5/15/2006
Q: When a person is dying I have heard that sometimes the dying person will stay alive as long as ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmother. Yes I have seen people hang on for various reasons, make ...
morphine doages	5/12/2006
Q: how much morphine is a lethal dose? my mom passed away on april 26, 2006 for the 2 weeks she was in ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. It's hard to guess what a "lethal" dose is as there are so many ...
Controlling pain from bone cancer	5/5/2006
Q: my brother-in-law has stage 4 prostate cancer metasized to bone. He is currently under hospice care ... A: Ca of the Bone is one of the more painful diseases, but no one should be in pain today. I suggest ...
"mask of death"	4/4/2006
Q: my mother suffered two massive strokes fourteen days ago. I am in another state caring for my ... A: I have never heard that phrase, it must be a local terminology. When people are close to death they ...
My mom has Liver andlung cancer	3/28/2006
Q: Yes My Mom found out about having liver cancer a little over a year ago. They told her that ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. This is always a difficult question to answer, and every family ...
copd and dying	3/28/2006
Q: The nursing home is releasing my Mom to come home but I am wanting to know what the next stages will ... A: This is very general and may not be the course your Mom follows, but I can tell you how an average ...
dying stage 4 lung/bone cancer	3/13/2006
Q: My mother is at home under hospice care. Dx: May 2005 lung cancer stage 4 matastisis to the bone. ... A: It is difficult to be too sure when answering what the discoloration is due to. Swelling and lack of ...
Life after death	3/2/2006
Q: my name is Emily Konzier. I am a student at Shaler Area High school. My classmates and I are doing ... A: Hair and nail growth Decomposition accounts for one of the most widely-held myths concerning death: ...
Sleeping 22 hours a day	2/28/2006
Q: I am hoping that you can help me. My mother, who is 84, has COPD and dementia. She lived next door ... A: It is a difficult decision when to be agressive and when to back off with seniors. If the doctor has ...
I have just spent a month...	1/3/2006
Q: I have just spent a month with my mother in South Africa. She has stage 3 lung cancer. I am now ... A: I'm sorry to hear about our Mother. It is very difficult to guess timelines with terminal ilnesses ...
dying mother??	11/19/2005
Q: Margot, My mother (80 yrs. old) has been bedridden for over a year. The only medicine she is on are ... A: Yes it is very difficult to guess without knowing your Mother's medical history and her current test ...
strange question maybe	10/30/2005
Q: i dont know if this is normal or not but... i have a fear of getting an aneurism and dying ... A: You don't sound like a Hypochondriac to me, you just sound like you suffer from anxiety related to a ...
my mum has terminal lung cancer spread to liver and bones	8/22/2005
Q: i would really like to know what to expect and for someone to give me a rough idea of how long my ... A: I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately there is no easy formula to guess how much time anyone ...
Partial removal of a meningioma brain tumor	7/8/2005
Q: she had surgery jan 27, 05 and 4 weeks later had to go to a nursing home as having memory difficult ... A: Elderly people are more likely than younger patients to develop cognitive impairment as a result of ...
MDS	6/9/2005
Q: This is an update:Wife and I have alnost worn out the internet and doctors studying MDS and she is ... A: As with any treatment option, you are in control and have the right to decide yes or no. Ask all the ...
Physician assisted suicide/euthanasia	4/20/2005
Q: i'm Hi school softmore preparing for a debate on physician assisted suicide. I've read that if a ... A: If a person does not specify who is to make medical decisions for them in case they can't speak for ...
Physical change at death	4/20/2005
Q: Good Morning! Three people have said that when they first saw an individual after death but before ... A: I've worked with seniors for 20 years and have seen plenty of deceased bodies in my career and have ...
End of life care	4/12/2005
Q: Margot. My name is Jayne. My father has recurrent small cell lung cancer. He had a lobectomey of ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your father's condition, it does sound quite grave. As for ‘end of life ...
life support systems	3/21/2005
Q: What is the difference between Life support and Feeding tubes? My husband and I are not clear about ... A: "Life Support" is exactly as it sounds - anything that supports life; this can include feeding tubes ...
Removing my father from the ventilator	2/28/2005
Q: My father died early in the morning on February 15. He was on a ventilator for several months ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your father's passing. Do not worry about Hydrocodone not being "as good" ...
Death	2/20/2005
Q: The husband of a close friend is dying. He is at home and only she and his sister are there to take ... A: As you are no doubt aware, there are so many different factors that affect how long we "linger" with ...
Dying with cancer	2/8/2005
Q: My Mom was diagnosed with Small Cell Carcinoma Lung Cancer March 3 2004. She had a massive tumor in ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mother's situation. You might want to contact the Social Worker's at ...
dying of old age	12/28/2004
Q: Margot - Thanks for taking the time to respond do this question. My grandmother is 93-years-old ... A: I'm sorry to hear about what you and your family has been through watching your Grandmother ...
Urgant Responce Needed	12/24/2004
Q: I don't know if you can help me or not but it doesn't hurt to try. My grandfather has diabetes and ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Grandfather ... I hope he's okay now. I really can't even begin to ...
Preparing for the death of my father, 77	12/18/2004
Q: I am the health care representative for my father, a widower. He has a severely weakened vascular ... A: I'm sorry but I'm not sure I know what you are asking exactly. If you're asking whether to put in a ...
Not sure you can answer this	11/25/2004
Q: I am wondering when a young person is brought to a hospital and dies, (age 36) if the hospital makes ... A: All patients admitted to hospital have basic blood tests done and these simple tests identify ...
come	11/16/2004
Q: I sorry if this sounds morbid but would a very overweight person loose a lot of weight after being ... A: Not necessarily. Weight loss depends on burning more calories the we take in. A person in a coma ...
hospice care for grandmother with small children in home	11/10/2004
Q: My mother was diagnosed with a grade IV glioblastoma in July 2004. She has had surgery, radiation, ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother. I'll do my best to address your concerns. As for whether ...
stage of death	11/7/2004
Q: My mother is 79, dx'ed with Dementia, Brain CA with moth eaten skull,several strokes, bone cancer. ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. Sounds like you're way past the point of considering options for ...
Renal shutdown/life expectancy	10/5/2004
Q: My father is has end-stage Parkinson's. He has had trouble swallowing for the past 3 weeks. Over ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your father's condition. I would agree the end may be near if he has infact ...
death	9/15/2004
Q: I want to know why people seem to get better just before they die. I have seen this happen so many ... A: I researched to see if I could any information on this topic, but I could not. I can however share ...
COPD and truth	8/1/2004
Q: I have just been told I have COPD. Great, time to get a few things in order, like a living will and ... A: Obviously I do not have a Crystal Ball and have no way of knowing exactly how long you may live; and ...
Morphine and the Elderly	7/22/2004
Q: Can you please tell me if it is a normal practice to give the elderly morphine when they are near ... A: Yes it is normal practice to give Morphine to the terminally ill to promote comfort. The Morphine is ...
dying how long	7/21/2004
Q: He has been in and out of sleep for a few weeks now and has stopped eating and drinking for 2 days ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your father's condition. It's really very difficult to estimate how long he ...
Kidney shutdown in 97 year old	5/31/2004
Q: My Grandma is 97,8 months and 9 days. She started with an intestinal blockage 8 weeks ago on ... A: It's hard to guess without knowing everything, although you were very thorough in your question. ...
Death from kidney failure	5/20/2004
Q: My 66 year old father has been on hemodialysis for 7 years. He seems to be coming to the end of his ... A: I apologise for my delay in responding but I had to leave the country unexpected for a urgent family ...
Alzheimers and dying	5/16/2004
Q: I am a live in caregiver for an 89 year old man with Alzhiemers and COPD. I have been caring for him ... A: Below is an excerpt whioch I think should answer all your questions. I hope this helps and I wish ...
fear of death	5/10/2004
Q: can you pleose tell me if the people you helped through the dying stage had great fears of ... A: Your fear of death is something you really should seek counselling for as it sounds like it's ...
pulmonary embolism	5/6/2004
Q: Last thursday my mother passed away after being given a clot buster drug for her heart attack. I was ... A: I'm very sorry to hear about your Mother. If you look at the link below you will find a simple but ...
Dying And Morphine	9/25/2003
Q: Mother 87 has terminal cancer, colon, I believe that has spread now to liver. She was only ... A: i'm sorry to hear about your Mother's condition. Morphine "usually" does indicate the end is near ...
death	4/10/2003
Q: You say you nursed your mother and granmother at home when they were dying. My question is when ... A: For me it was an easy decision as it's family tradition to nurse our loved-ones at home. Both my ...
Dying Process in the elderly	2/22/2003
Q: My mother has dymentia and has lived in the same nursing home for two years. I have been told by ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother's condition. Each death can be individual and circumstances ...
peg feeding	2/19/2003
Q: I really need some reassurance that all is being done for my 90 year old mother, recently diagnosed ... A: sorry I've taken so long to answer but I was off sick myself. I find it really hard to believe you ...
End Stage Alzheimers; Swallowing Reflex gone	1/24/2003
Q: My 91 year old Mom has been in a skilled nursing facility's Alzheimer's Dementia Unit for the past ... A: I'm sorry to hear about your Mom's struggle, but it does sound like she's in a good place. You do ...
death of father	5/19/2002
Q: my father died a week ago. I looked after him at home I attended to all his personal needs, my ... A: I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's experience, dying does not have to be a struggle. Obviosuly i ...
terminal cancer care at home	5/7/2002
Q: My mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, primary in colon, secondary in liver. Her ... A: I can honestly tell you that although you are facing a scary and sad time ahead of you - it will ...
Stages of Death in the Elderly	10/19/2001
Q: What are the physical symptoms of the final stages of death in the elderly? I know it is called ... A: I can desribe mottling to you from my experience, but if you need to know for a homework assignement ...
what to expect	4/9/2001
Q: My step-father will be dieing of cancer, he has no liver function as of yesterday and has started to ... A: Your Step-father is in the End Stage of his disease process and the end is not far away as I'm sure ...
copd	3/26/2001
Q: my 86 year old mother lives with my sister. together we take care of our mom. every doctor has ... A: I'm sorry your Mother is having such a tough time of it, but there is no reason she HAS TO go into ...

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