Expert: Margot RN BScN CGN - 6/25/2006

Question
My mother is 78 yrs. old with heart problems (pacemaker), stroke, emphysema and 50% of right lung removed 6 yrs ago. She has been diagnosed this week with a cancer spot on left lung and also on two lymph nodes (PET scan). When she had her stroke last year we had her in a nursing home until recovery and now she is at home with her daughters. She was on hospice and did quite well physically but emotionally very depressed, sometimes combative & thought people were trying to let her die.  She has done great now for a year. My question is should we tell her she has lung cancer again. She is not a candidate for surgery or chemo for that matter. We dread if her knowledge would emotionally make her mentally unstable again. We feel her quality of life is good now even with her physical illnesses compared to last year. Would hospice help take care of her even when we don't want to let her know she has terminal cancer?
Thank You,
K. Farmer

Answer
Hi Kat and thanks for writing,

This is a delicate decision that should be made by the family together so everyone is comfortable with the decision. Personally I don't see the point in telling her something that doesn't make a difference, but it's not my decsion to make. Sit down and talk to other family members involved and share your thoughts - hopefully you'll all agree to do the same thing. Ask peopl to consider how telling her will benefit her ... and don't forget to let the doctor know if you don't tell her.

I hope this helps,

Margot