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Living on a Budget, Saving Money/Can't take care of himself


  I am writing about my brother who is 65 and retired.  He has made no provision for retiring and just collects social security period.  He constantly calls my mom (every month or more) and wants $600 to $1200 a month because he can't pay the rent or car payments.   He says that he will get that money after mom dies anyway so he may as well collect it now.  Mom is angry at him but will not tell him, she just pays out and complains to me.  Her will states that when she dies her money will be divided in half between him and me.
   Do you know of any recommendations I can give him to stop sponging off of her.  He lives in Florida and can't find any kind of job.  Would he qualify for any government help I can recommend him to apply for?  I can understand his problem but it just doesn't seem fair to sponge off of mom (and if there is anything left when mom dies off of me as well).

Dear Becky,
I'm treading lightly here, as family situations can get very touchy at a moments notice.  I don't know how open you can be with your mom, but my suggestion would be for you to explain to her, next time she complains that you feel she should be enjoying her money and spending it the way she wants to.  I also think you should tell her your brother told you he is getting his inheritance now . . .  Just as her daughter, tell her it's like a double disregard for you to hear her complaining and that she doesn't confront him about it.  
If he can't support himself, and he didn't make any arrangements for his retirement, I'm guessing this may have gone on much longer than his so called "retirement."  If he can't support himself and he can't find a job, he's unemployed and living off his mother.[period]  Being 65 doesn't make it any different than if he were 35!  Perhaps it would be better if he just moved in with her.  That's a lot of money he's going through . . .
He's already being funded by the government with social security.  Social Security was originally designed for people who didn't have a retirement or pension.  I suppose he might qualify for government housing and food stamps, depending upon the amount of his check.
I'm sorry, this sounds like a lifestyle pattern, and perhaps your mom has just resigned herself to it.  If that's the case, all you can do is decide how you're going to handle this.  You can tell her she needs to talk to him, not you; or keep letting her vent.  
Can you confront your brother?  At least have some sort of paper proof that he's already collecting this money.  I think there may be some statutes regarding taking advantage of elderly parents.  That may be something to check into.  If your brother is 65, you're mom has to be at least 80.  He should be taking care of her!  I don't know what state your mother lives in, but you might see what's on the books as far as protecting her assets.
I hope you can find some peace in this situation.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz

Living on a Budget, Saving Money

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Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger


I can answer questions pertaining to budgeting, savings, debt reduction, and total freedom from debt. I can assist in prioritizing expenses and obligations. I am willing to share and offer guidance in realistic money management, modest investments, and financial freedom. I am not an investment counselor, broker or accountant, I am a missionary that does not do fund raisers or ask for donations.


I live comfortably and have been debt free since I was 40.

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