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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Living with Mental Illness > Help, I think my 18 year old daughter is crazy!
Expert: Chris Harris - 11/2/2009
Question
I am the step parent to my eldest daughter. While she has a long history of disabilities (OCD, ADHD, massive hyperactivity and most recently, bipolar disorder) and takes a slew of medication (Adderal, trazadone, clonidine, lithium). My new concerns are that she may be delusional, but I can't find many answers that "fit" the symptoms. She sees a counselor, but now that she is an "adult", the conversations are limited to what my daughter discusses. In short, these are my concerns:
She is 18, but comes across as probably 10, maybe younger. When she is in public, he behavior is massively attention seeking and her 13 year old sister is vastly more mature. She is massively sexually active, and the "boyfriends" have generally been homeless or at risk youths. While she is a good student grade wise and she tries hard, she has an IEP and, at risk of sounding mean, she isn't smart enough to know that she isn't smart. She frequently chimes in on all subjects, attempts to finish sentences for everyone, volunteers massively wrong information on all subjects, feels her behavior is "cute and unique" when it drops jaws in public, takes very little care of herself, yet applies to be miss teen usa and home coming queen, mails birthday cards and letters to herself, makes birthday cakes for herself, took to wearing a shirt that said "it's my birthday" this year and carried a balloon all day, dominates any social setting and ultimately destroys any holiday setting by making herself the center of attention, expects to do to a private college but unfortunately she won't come close to passing the entrance exam, all of her "friendships" are strictly one way, she talks at length, for hours, about nothing, rarely stopping for breath. There isn't room for a conversation in our house as she will jump in and dominate it or go off subject completely. Most recently, we took our toddler to the down town halloween festival (The businesses shut down and hand out candy. She went trick or treating again this year despite the negative reaction she has received the last few years. She basically wore pair of cat ears, made animal noises and was confused as to why some of the business owners were rather hesistant to hand her candy. Again, her public behavior and loudness at the event dropped jaws and my wife I an wanted to dive in a hole. My wife and I liken it her seemingly appearing in everyone's Sears family portrait. She does activities in the early hours of the morning (vacuuming or moving furniture in her room that will wake everyone) watches PBS children's programs and speaks in a baby voice most of the time (We have a 19 month old baby and it really sounds like we have two babies)
While we have tried several avenues to seek professional help for her, counseling has often failed because she often views her counselor as a "friend" and doesn't open up at all. Things really went south for us when she entered high school. She had an idea that high school would be seemingly like a television show (the cool car, handsome jock boyfriend, the popularity etc.) But she quickly because a pariah on campus with her style of dress, talking to herself, and making animal noises.
I know I've rambled a lot, but there isn't a lot of information regarding the obvious specifics of her issues.
Any insight or familiar ground that I covered her that would place more of a name on what it is that we are dealing with?
Answer
Neal,
First, I cannot help with medications and I encourage you to have her see a psychiatrist for her meds. The behavior you describe has all the hallmark signs of bipolar disorder and I am not sure her meds are working for her. Other autism spectrum diagnoses ought to be ruled out as well. She sounds manic but it could also be her ADHD. Also, Pervasive Developmental disorder can cause some of the problems you describe so it is important she have a thorough evaluation to make sure her diagnosis is correct. I think the best you can do is strongly encourage her to seek treatment. I would have your wife approach her about seeing a psychiatrist and participating in family therapy. The therapist can help work out problems in the family as well as guide your stepdaughter to use more socially acceptable behavior. Is she medication compliant? I do not see any delusions in your note. A evaluation by a trained psychiatrist is needed here to get to the bottom of what is going on with your step daughter. You may want to post this on another part of this website where there are psychiatrists that may be able to offer more insight than I can. I wish you well.
chris
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