AboutNorthstar Expertise I can answer question about how to stay close to your significant other, despite the distance. I am currently in a long distance relationship, so I've experienced many problems first hand. Whether a person is having a hard time saying good-bye after a visit, dealing with time differences, bothersome siblings, or an overwhelming schedule; I have tips and ideas that will help people work through their problems and keep a level head. I understand that being in a LDR comes with a whole host of unique problems and situations that don't occur in relationships where both parties have easy access to each other. I also understand how easy it is to start playing mind games with yourself, and worrying over the past, present and future. I can answer questions about how to resolve conflict/trust issues, how to stay connected, and keep the spark burning.
Experience I am in a long distance relationship, so I know first hand how difficult and frustrating this arrangement can be. My advice will be two-fold, on the one hand I will be able to provide my insight, and on the other hand, my significant other will be able to provide his point of as well. This means I will better be able to see ANY situation from both a male and female perspective.
Education/Credentials I recently graduated from college with a BA in History
Question I have this problem in a long distance relationship where I cheated. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years, we have plans to get married and everything. Except after the first year, she took a 11 month exchange program in another country. I went to visit her after 3 months for two weeks and everything was good. Now its been another 3 months and I finally couldn't take it and cheated.
We have good communication, almost no arguments and talk everyday. The problem is I feel frustrated and stressed that I can't be with her. I also feel lonely because she is my partner/companion but she is not here and I do want the companionship sometimes.
During sex(cheating), I didn't feel right and never even got to the point of climax and I am really not sure I want to even do it again. I haven't told her but sorta want to and sorta don't. I also want to give her an opportunity to be with one guy while she is there, and eye for an eye type deal.
But I do I cope with this situation, distance and cheating?
Answer 1. Tell your girlfriend.
Why? Because she has a right to know. She's going to need time, she's going to be pissed, and she may or may not be willing to stay with you.
You cheated on her, which is wrong. How is she supposed to trust you when you are married?
2. Stop cheating.
Why? Because it isn't helping you, or your relationship.
It's ONLY been three months, and you've already started to stray? That's not a good sign.
3. Get help. And by 'help' I don't mean an online advice service. There's a lot going on here (more than you're actually telling me, I'm sure) and the only way to root out these problems (as well as deal with them) is to go to a therapist.
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I'm biased? You're the one CHEATING on your girlfriend. The woman you supposedly love and care for. I don't know why you are cheating, and I think this is a problem you need to fix. I don't think this is the best forum to deal with your problem. I'm giving you my honest opinion, which is what you asked for. If you were expecting me to tell you 'it's all right, you're still a good person for living this lie.' Then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that's NOT what I'm here for. If you look at my ratings (in ANY of the catagories I answer questions in) you will notice that YOU are the only one who seems to think I am 'biased.'
